Ces Larmes Je Pleure
by Kiaran Dryaalis
Summary: A rather angsty little ha! fic in which Subaru tries to deal with Seishirou's death. By screwing with Fuuma? PAIRINGS: SeishirouSubaru, FuumaSubaru, hinted KamuiSubaru...dang, Subaru gets around...
1. Namida

_Author's Note: Oh, boy. You have NO clue how depressed this fic is going to make me. I mean, seriously. It took me a month to get back to writing this one because I was getting so depressed. My school consoler thought that I was getting suicidal, I was so depressed.  
__Anyway... This fic has lots of angst. And I mean PURE angst._

_Warning: Um…angst, angst, more angst, um…and even more angst._

_Disclaimer: ((empties pockets, we see a pack of Juicy Fruit, a single copper penny, and a handful of lint.)) Um…right… _

_

* * *

_

Part One

Two weeks had passed since the incident at Rainbow Bridge. Sumeragi Subaru had killed Sakurazuka Seishirou, the man he hated, and yet loved with all his heart. In doing so, Seishirou's position as the infamous Sakurazukamori had been passed on to the former Sumeragi Head. Subaru had left his own clan when he took on Seishirou's job.

After Seishirou's death, Subaru had found the key to the older man's apartment in the mail. With it was a letter. He had refused to read it, ignoring it and the key for several days. After a week and a half, he finally opened the letter. It was relatively long, written in Seishirou's elegant handwriting.

_"Subaru-kun,  
By the time you read this, I'll be gone. You'll have killed me by now. I want you to know something. You, Subaru-kun, have always meant something to me…"_

Here, Subaru paused in his reading, Seishirou's final words repeating in his mind. Those few words had fucked him more than anything the older man hand ever said or done to him. They would be burned into his mind until the day he died.

_(("I…really did love you, Subaru-kun…"))_

Subaru choked back the sobs that threatened to overcome him. He took in a deep breath before he continued reading.

_"My mother once told me that it was a beautiful thing, to be killed by the one you love,"_ he read. _"So, when I met you, I knew that you were the one."_

Tears stung Subaru's eyes. So Seishirou had been playing to die by his hand since the beginning? Everything had been because Seishirou wanted Subaru to kill him.

_"I want you to have the key to my apartment. You probably may never want to step foot in there, but just in case."_

Subaru help the single key in his right hand. After a moment of hesitation, he pulled out his own set of keys and added it to the keychain. Then he continued to read. After the section about the key, the former Sakurazukamori had written a few details on how to go about his job. Subaru skipped that; he would go over it later. He read the end of the letter.

_"Subaru-kun, I know you may never forgive me for everything I did to you, especially this, but I just for once want to tell you the truth. I love you. I always have. More than anything."_

That was it. Subaru could no longer hold in his sobs. The letter fell to the floor as the tears ran down his face. He curled up on his couch, burying his face in the throw pillow. He didn't try to stop it…he just cried.

Seishirou was gone. And this time, it was forever. The dead do not come back. After a long while, Subaru fell asleep. He didn't wake for several hours. Not even when the phone rang.

* * *

Kamui waited impatiently with the phone pressed to his ear. His heart skipped a beat when he finally heard Subaru's voice, then sank when he realized that it was only the older man's answering machine. 

"I'm not here right now. Please leave a message after the tone."

There was a beep and Kamui began his message: "Subaru, I know you're there. There's no where else you could be."

He paused, think that over. No, there was a possibility that Subaru could be at the Tree, mourning over the man he had loved and lost.

"I know that losing him hurt, Subaru, but you have to let him go. He's gone and not coming back. I can't stop the pain, but perhaps if you gave me a chance, I could help you."

Kamui sighed. Subaru wasn't going to picking up any time soon.

"Just take care of yourself. Please. Your own life has value, too."

With that, he hung up, not knowing that he had just repeated words that Subaru's own grandmother had once said.

* * *

The afterlife really wasn't what Seishirou had been expecting. For one, he hadn't been expecting that Hokuto would jump on him from behind and put him in a headlock. 

"You IDIOT!" she screamed. "It took you NINE YEARS and then it was only when HE KILLED YOU!"

Seishirou choked. "Ho-Hokuto!"

The dead Sumeragi twin released him, and then embraced him in a tight hug. Seishirou blinked. One minute the girl had been trying to strangle him, the next she was hugging him as a long lost friend. Which he supposed he was.

"Erm…Hokuto?"

"I've missed you so much!" Hokuto said, emphasizing this with a squeeze. "I mean, I've kept my eyes on you two for nine years, but never got to talk to you. But you were doing okay those few times when you got Subaru-chan to stop trying to kill you and actually got him in bed…"

"You saw that!" Seishirou asked, choking.

"Of course, though I didn't stay to watch. I'm not a voyeur. I do have a life outside of you two, er, sorta. I've been trying to get Kakyou out of that coma off and on for nine years. And I almost succeeded once, if that one guy with the spiky hair hadn't interrupted and taken Kakyou away…"

She paused. "So. Why'd you do it?"

"What?"

Hokuto thwacked Seishirou's head and frowned at him. "What do you think? Leaving Subaru like that! He's so screwed up now because of what you told him! And using him as a suicide weapon! I oughta boot you in the head just for that!"

"As if I had a choice," Seishirou replied, rubbing his head. "I knew I had to invoke that little spell of yours. Subaru-kun would never have killed me of his own will. He loves me too much."

"Then why didn't you just stay with him instead of leaving him broken like that? You could have been happy!"

"Hokuto, he may love me, but he hates me just as much as he loves me. Or did you not notice that little detail? Every time he realized that he loved me, he felt guilty."

"Sei-chan," Hokuto said, her voice calm, "Subaru is unstable. And he's even more so now because you're gone. He loved no one but you!"

"And because of me, he'll never be happy. I only caused him pain."

"So my brother is a masochist," Hokuto shrugged. "He was happy at times, Sei-chan. Do you know how much this hurt him?"

"He'll be better off without me."

Hokuto smacked Seishirou across the face. The former Sakurazukamori put a hand to the welt, surprised, not only at how much being dead hurt, but at the Sumeragi girl's temper.

"Seishirou! He won't be better off without you! He's already worse and it's barely been two weeks! He's hardly slept and the only time he ever eats is when the Tree tells him to."

Hokuto put her hands on her hips and waited for Seishirou to say something. When he didn't, she sighed.

"Have you even looked at him since you died?" she asked. "Have you seen how much this hurt him? He's so hurt; he can't even leave his apartment!"

Seishirou said nothing. He stood there, looking at the ground as Hokuto looked at him, waiting for an answer. Finally, Seishirou looked at her.

"I thought it would be best for him. He's always been miserable when I see him. He needs to forget about me."

"He CAN'T forget about you," Hokuto said. "That's why he's so upset. He loved you, Seishirou-chan. He loved none **but** you."

"I can't help that Hokuto," Seishirou replied. "Subaru-kun…Subaru…needs to let me go."

Hokuto threw her hands into the air, then grabbed Seishirou and began to pull him in the direction of a small pond. It was then that Seishirou realized that the afterworld was a mirror image of the real world and that they seemed to be in Ueno Park. Hokuto kneeled at the edge of the pond, pulling the former Sakurazukamori down with her. She poked a finger into the still waters.

The surface of the water became distorted as the ripples spread. Soon, the image of a sparsely decorated apartment came into view. Seishirou looked and saw the form of a young man, resting on a couch, tears falling onto a pillow from closed eyes. The young man's jet-black bangs fell into his face.

"Subaru-kun..." Seishirou whispered.

Through the image on the pond's surface, Seishirou watched as Subaru's eyes snapped open. The younger man bolted upright, knocking the pillow to the floor.

"Seishirou-san?" Subaru asked, hesitantly.

Seishirou looked at Hokuto.

"He can feel our presence," Hokuto explained. "However, he can only hear us if his mind is clear. Since he was kinda asleep, he heard your voice and woke up, thinking, and probably hoping, that you were there."

"Is there some way I can get to him?" Seishirou asked.

"Well," Hokuto said thoughtfully, putting her fist under her chin, "you could wait til his mind is clear again. Though, that could take hours and even then, he'll probably only think it's a hallucination."

Seishirou looked down at Subaru's image, seeing that the younger man had slumped back onto the couch.

"Or," Hokuto continued, "we could contact him through Kakyou."

* * *

Subaru slumped back onto the couch. He pulled his knees up to his chest, buried his face in his arms and started crying. Losing Seishirou a second time was the worst thing that could ever happen to him. The pain was almost unbearable. He just cried, letting all the pain slip away, if only for a few minutes. It would be back, but for now, a few minutes' peace would be great. 

When Subaru finished crying, he picked up his keys, grabbed his jacket and left the apartment. He didn't bother calling a taxi, he would walk. As he walked along in the direction of Ueno Park, he pulled his keys out and absent-mindedly ran his finger over the teeth of the key to Seishirou's apartment.

Subaru stopped and turned around; heading to the apartment that Seishirou had left him.

* * *

_Author's Note: Okay, I know there's not much right now, but hey, this is only the first chapter. Now excuse me while I go cry._


	2. Yume

_Author's Note: I'm really depressed now. You know how I have five muses? Three of them abandoned me for this fic. Yup. Aquaria, Orion, and Leon split for Europe. I'm stuck with Chibi Zelas and the Tree. Gods help me._

_Warning: More angst and some SeixSu action.

* * *

_

Part Two: Yume

_::He really did love you, you know,:: _the Tree said.

"Then why did he do this to me?" Subaru asked, standing at the window that overlooked the city.

_::Which 'this'?::_

"All of it. The bet, Hokuto-chan, using me…" Subaru paused, choking, "…like that."

_::You'd better sit down,::_ the Tree told him. _::This could take a bit.::_

Subaru sat on the leather couch and pulled out a cigarette. He lit it and took a long drag on it, trying desperately to keep calm.

_::The bet was something he came up with when the two of you first met. It was a spur of the moment thing,::_ the Tree explained. _::I have no clue why he did it and I wasn't too happy about it either. It cost me a meal, but Seishirou insisted and when you met again, he fell in love with you, so I gave up.::_

Subaru felt it was weird to hear himself referred to as a meal, but refrained from commenting.

_::He lost the bet, but was too proud to admit it. SO, he told you that you were the one who had lost.::_

"What about Hokuto?" Subaru asked. "Why did he kill her?"

_::Hokuto asked Seishirou to kill her. Remember the spell that Seishirou activated to have you kill him?::_

"Hokuto asked him to kill her for that?"

_::Yes,::_ the Tree said. _::Hokuto was crazy, no offense. But she was fun, even if she got ticked when she moved on to the afterlife.::_

"Moved on?"

_::I only feed on the magical energy of a soul. The actual soul is not harmed. So, your sister moved on eventually, though she asked me to tell Seishirou that he was a jackass on occasion.::_

Subaru blinked.

_::Now, as for why Seishirou used you as a suicide weapon,:: _the Tree continued, _::he did it because you wouldn't kill him on your own. Are you familiar on how the position of Sakurazukamori is passed on?::_

"All I know is that it's passed on by blood," Subaru said.

_::To be precise, it's passed on when the previous holder is killed. Seishirou's mother, the Sakurazukamori before him, told him that it…::_

"…is a beautiful thing, to be killed by the one you love," Subaru choked. He put out his cigarette. "I don't want to hear anymore."

_::Go eat something,:: _the Tree told him._ ::Then I want you to go to bed.::_

"I'm not hungry," Subaru said, standing up and heading through Seishirou's apartment, towards the bedroom. "I'll eat tomorrow."

_::I'm going to hold you to that,::_ the Tree warned. _::If you don't eat something tomorrow, I'll come over and make you eat.::_

Subaru vaguely wondered how the Tree would do so, but said nothing. He threw off his jacked and flopped onto the bed. He buried his face into the pillows and found that they smelled of tobacco and Seishirou's aftershave. He breathed in the scent, holding it in for a while before starting to cry again.

He shortly fell asleep, his tears already beginning to dry.

* * *

"Please, Kakyou?" Hokuto asked. "Sei-chan really needs to speak to my brother."

The yumemi looked at her. "I don't know. If the Dark Kamui saw…"

"Can't you block him?"

"Not for very long," Kakyou replied. "He can break through the Dreamscape and stop the Dream."

"We just need you to merge into one of Subaru's dreams long enough to get Seishirou in there. You can do that, right?"

"Yes, but it's still risky," Kakyou said. "The Dark Kamui often breaks into the Dreamscape and if he catches me doing anything else…"

"Look, I know I interrupted your job," Hokuto said, "but this is important."

Kakyou looked from Hokuto to Seishirou, who stood quietly in the corner of the Dream.

"I'll do it," he said, "but only as a favor to you, Hokuto."

The Sumeragi girl smiled and hugged the yumemi. "Thank you, Kakyou!"

Kakyou gave her a soft smile and began merge his Dream with Subaru's.

* * *

Subaru's dreams had changed since that day at Rainbow Bridge. From the once dim dreams of his past, they grew dark, full of blood, rain, and sakura. He saw only images of the fight or an image of himself, alone, covered in blood and crying.

Tonight's dreams were no different. He stood on the bridge, the scent of sakura filling the air as rain poured down on him. His bloodstained hands covered his eyes as he dropped to the ground. His entire body shook with his sobs.

"Sei…shirou-san…" he whispered between cries.

"Subaru-kun," a voice behind him replied.

Subaru looked up and turned around. His eyes widened as he saw Seishirou standing behind him, looking at him with two perfect golden eyes.

"Seishirou-san?"

The former Sakurazukamori stepped closer to the younger man and kneeled down so they were face-to-face.

"You…" Subaru whispered. "You're…"

Seishirou put his arms around Subaru and pulled him close. Subaru clutched at the older man's shirt, burying his face into Seishirou's shoulders as warm tears ran down his face.

"I hate you…" Subaru mumbled. "I hate you so much."

Seishirou said nothing. He just held the younger man as he cried. The feel of Subaru being so close made Seishirou's heart hurt.

"God, I love you Seishirou-san," Subaru sniffled. He put his arms around Seishirou's waist, not wanting to let go. "Don't leave me again…please."

"Subaru-kun," Seishirou said, "I know you don't want to lose me, but…"

"Don't say it!" Subaru begged. "Please! I don't want to hear it!"

"No. You have to accept it," Seishirou told him. "I'm dead, Subaru-kun. Nothing can change that."

"No!" Subaru cried, looking up at his lover. "I can't! I won't accept it! You're here aren't you? You don't have to be gone!"

"Subaru-kun."

"Damn it, I love you, Seishirou-san!" Subaru said. "I never wanted you to die."

"It was my time, Subaru-kun," Seishirou told him. "I was ready to die."

"How can you say that?!" Subaru exclaimed. "You knew I loved you! You knew that I'd be miserable without you! And you just decided that you were ready to die, knowing that it would hurt me?!"

"Subaru-kun, I was hurting you."

"I don't care!" Subaru said. "What you did before was nothing compared to this!"

There was silence for a moment. Subaru held in his sobs, trying to calm down. Seishirou said nothing for a long time.

"You told me that you loved me," Subaru whispered.

"And I do," Seishirou said. "But it was my time to die. I was tired of hurting you. Though, I guess my death was just another wound for you."

"Seishirou-san…" Subaru whispered.

Seishirou looked at Subaru and saw at once what the younger man needed. Subaru needed confirmation. So, Seishirou leaned forward and gently kissed Subaru. He slid his tongue between the younger man's lips, letting the taste of his lover fill his mouth. He felt Subaru's desperation in that kiss. The younger man loved him, almost too much.

"Please," Subaru begged when the kiss broke, "please, don't leave me."

"Subaru-kun," Seishirou said, softly wiping the tears off Subaru's cheeks, "we can't keep this up. This is your dream. When you wake up, I'll be gone."

"And if I don't wake up?"

"Subaru. You have to let me go."

Subaru clung to Seishirou. "I…I can't."

"Subaru."

Subaru was quiet. He clung to Seishirou, tears silently rolling down his face. After a few moments, the tears stopped.

"Seishirou-san?"

"Yes?"

"Will you…? Just one more time?"

Seishirou looked at Subaru. "It won't be real."

"I don't care," Subaru replied. "I just…want to feel…what it's like for you to love me. One last time."

Seishirou hesitated, then nodded. Subaru hugged him as the Dream changed. No longer were they on a bridge. They lay on Seishirou's bed, just as it had looked before Subaru had fallen asleep. Seishirou kissed Subaru once more as he gently pushed him onto the mattress. Subaru put his arms around Seishirou, entwining his fingers into Seishirou's hair. The rain had long ago washed away the blood.

After removing the younger man's shirt, Seishirou began kissing a trail down Subaru's chest. Then he began kissing back upwards, nipping here and there, playing with Subaru in the most sensitive places, causing Subaru to gasp. He would make this last, a Dream that Subaru would never forget.

* * *

When Subaru woke up in the morning, he remembered that last act of Seishirou's love. Though it had been a dream, he had felt everything. Seishirou's rough, yet still gentle kisses, each nip, lick, and thrust….all of it would be embedded in his memory. But he would never feel it again.

* * *

_Author's Note: I always knew that I would someday write a depressing sex scene. This just seemed like the fic for it._

_Thanks to **Haru **and **Subaru's Voice** for my first reviews on this fic!_


	3. Maboroshi

_Warning: Fuuma._

Part Three: Maboroshi

Kamui headed downstairs to the kitchen, where Sorata and Arashi were busily cooking breakfast as Yuzuriha set the table. Subaru had never called back and the teen was beginning to get worried. He told himself that he'd call again after school.

"Oh, Kamui!" Yuzuriha chirped. "You're awake! I was just going to come call you."

"Good morning, Yuzuriha," Kamui said. He went over to her and took the placemats from her. "Here, let me help."

"Thank you, Kamui," the younger teen said. "Oh, by the way, Subaru-san stopped by."

Kamui nearly dropped the placemats as he turned to looked at her. "He did? When?"

"Early. I got up to take Inuki outside and Subaru-san was standing at the door." She paused, ran into another room, only to return moments later with an envelope in her hand. "He asked me to give you this."

Kamui took the envelope and opened it, pulling out the folded letter that was inside. He unfolded the letter and began to read it.

"Kamui,

Sorry, but I won't be able to help you anymore. I can't continue to be one of the Seven Seals. Without Seishirou-san, I have nothing left that I want to protect. I can no longer create a kekkai."

Kamui's eyes began to water. He was going to lose Subaru, his closest friend since Fuuma. And it was his fault, so he thought.

_If only I had been there! We could have avoided this entire issue!_

Kamui ignored the rest of the note. He dropped it and ran upstairs and into his room, slamming the door behind him. He flopped onto the bed and cried.

Back downstairs, Sorata picked up the letter after seeing Kamui run off. He quickly read it and handed it to Arashi.

"I'll go talk to him," he said.

The Kansai monk headed upstairs as Yuzuriha and Arashi read the letter. Arashi had suspected that Subaru would do something like this when she and Kamui had reached him at Rainbow Bridge.

"So, we've lost Subaru-san?" Yuzuriha asked sadly.

"That's what it looks like," Arashi replied, looking sad herself.

"I'm going to miss him."

Arashi nodded. "I think we all will."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subaru sat beneath the Tree, dressed all in black, not only to symbolize his mourning, but to remember Seishirou. He held a cigarette between the gloved fingers of his right hand, which rested on his knee. Petals from the sakura tree fell around him, creating a pink carpet on the ground.

_::Are you okay with this?::_ the Tree asked.

"Seishirou-san wanted this," Subaru replied, taking a drag on his cigarette. "And I don't want to deny what he died for. Besides, I can't let you die."

_::Have I already grown on you?::_

"No. If you were to die, it would upset Japan's magical balance," Subaru said. He flicked his cigarette, dumping the ash. He stood up, dropped the cigarette and snuffed it out with his foot. Then he turned to face the Tree. "I'm ready to learn."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you still watching him?"

Seishirou looked up from the pond to meet eyes with Hokuto. The dead Sumeragi twin was dressed in a black catsuit with a purple miniskirt made of silk. Her boots were the same color and reached up to her knees, with laces that reached all the way to the top. It was amazing that she could still come up with new and interesting outfits, even in the afterlife.

"Sei-chan, I can't believe you!" Hokuto exclaimed. "You tell Subaru that he needs to let you go and you can't even keep your eyes off him in the afterlife! Talk about your actions contradicting your words!"

Seishirou looked back at the image on the pond's surface. "I don't want to let him go."

"Seishirou, you told him to let you go," Hokuto said. "Now you have to let him go."

"I can't."

"Seishirou, don't make me hit you. I just did my nails."

Seishirou sighed. "I know that I should let him go. But, after having him for nearly twenty years, it's hard."

Hokuto kneeled down next to Seishirou. She looked down at the pond to see what Subaru was doing. She saw a young-looking man with grey hair demonstrating something for her brother.

"Looks like Subaru and the Tree are getting along okay," she said.

"Well, Subaru-kun won't let it die," Seishirou said. "If the Tree were to die, it would upset the country's magical balance. He wouldn't let that happen after protecting the balance for so many years.

"You're right," Hokuto said. "He would never let that happen."

"Just goes to show how much Subaru-kun truly cares, even now. After everything he's been through. Everything that I've done to him."

"Not everything was your fault, Sei-chan," Hokuto told him. "Subaru has always been a fragile person."

"But I was the one who broke him. And I kept breaking him, over and over; just to see how many times he would come back."

"Like I said before, Subaru is a masochist."

"But it was still wrong for me to do," Seishirou protested.

"Yes, but the reason he kept coming back was because he loved you," Hokuto said. "He needed the pain you gave him."

Seishirou sighed. He put his hand into the water and broke the connection to Subaru once again. He stood and began to walk away.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun was beginning to set, so the Tree called it a day and let Subaru go back to Seishirou's apartment, which the new Sakurazukamori had practically moved into. The former Sumeragi Head left the park and trudged towards the apartment. He was less than two blocks from the complex when he bumped into someone.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"I was wondering if I'd ever find you, Subaru-kun," a drawly voice said.

Subaru looked up. He blinked. "Seishirou-san?"

The man chuckled. "Try again, Subaru-kun."

Subaru blinked again. No, this wasn't Seishirou. It was just Fuuma; the Dark Kamui, out for a stroll in the evening. Subaru muttered something under his breath and began to walk on. He knew that Fuuma would follow, but he didn't care.

"Hey, wait up," Fuuma said. "I want to talk."

"Too bad," Subaru said. "I don't."

He turned the corner and walked quicker, just wanting to get to the apartment. The teenager followed, taking in the surroundings, so that he could find the apartment complex again. The Dark Kamui wasn't going to give up on getting Subaru to join his side of the battle, to replace the fallen Seishirou.

Fuuma followed Subaru as far as the hallway where Seishirou's apartment was located. He looked at the number. Room 512, 3 Naka-Ochiai, Shinjuku-ku. Simple to remember. He watched as Subaru unlocked the door and went inside, slamming the door closed behind him. Seeing as Subaru probably wouldn't come out for a while, he turned and left.

He'd come back in the morning. Then he and the former Sumeragi would have a little chat. He _would_ have the new Sakurazukamori replace the old.

------------------------------------------------------------------

The alarm clock went off at 8:00 sharp. Subaru rolled over and slammed a fist onto the snooze button, shutting off the incessant beeping. He rolled back onto his side and pulled the blankets over his body, wanting just a few more minutes of sleep. He had gotten home shortly after his run-in with the Dark Kamui, ate a meager dinner, went to bed and stared at the ceiling till three in the morning, when he finally fell asleep.

Five minutes later, the alarm went off again. Subaru turned it off, climbed out of bed, and dressed in the same clothes he had worn the day before. He would go to his own apartment, gather his belongings, bring them here, then go to buy some clothes that were more appropriate for his lifestyle change. The ones he had in his closet at the moment just no longer worked for him.

Pulling on his jacket, Subaru grabbed his keys, slipped on his shoes and opened the door. He stared for half a second, closed it again, and decided to jump out the window. Really, he didn't need to have to deal with Fuuma at the moment. All he needed was a few hours of peace, a sappy American movie, and some painkillers.

He headed to the balcony, opened the sliding glass door and stepped out. Making sure that no one was looking, he jumped, landing on a rooftop nearby. He made it to his own apartment in record time by leaping from rooftop to rooftop, not caring who saw.

It didn't take Subaru long to pack up his possessions. He'd give what he didn't need to charity He vaguely reflected that he should probably call his grandmother and let her know about the last two weeks' events. After all, now that he was the Sakurazukamori, he could no longer perform his duties as the Sumeragi Head. He shrugged the thought off. He'd call and explain everything later.

Looking around, Subaru realized that there was no way he would be able to carry three heavy boxes down four floors alone. So, he left the boxes in the living room, went into the hall and knocked on his neighbor's door. It opened a few seconds later and a tanned young woman with bleached hair came out.

"Sumeragi-san," she said, bowing.

"Akiyama-san," Subaru replied. "Could I get your help for a few minutes? I'm moving to another apartment and would like some help."

The woman nodded. "Sure."

"Thank you."

The two of them went into Subaru's apartment. Subaru took two of the boxes, leaving the last one for his neighbor. They got down to the ground level, went outside, and Subaru hailed a taxi. He put the boxes in and then turned to his former neighbor. He pulled out his set of keys and took the one to his apartment off the ring. He handed it to the young woman.

"Could you have someone take the rest of my things away? I don't need any of it."

"Not a problem," she replied. "I guess I won't be seeing you around anymore, then. Take care of yourself."

Subaru nodded and got into the taxi.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

That night, Subaru was sitting beneath the Tree. He had just lit up a cigarette and was about to take a long drag on it, when a familiar voice reached him.

"Subaru?"

"Go away, Kamui," Subaru said. "It's not safe for you to be out. Much less here."

"I needed to find you. I want to talk to you."

"There's no point. Nothing you can say can help."

"Subaru…" Kamui said. "I know it hurt you to lose him, but you have to stay strong."

Subaru said nothing.

"Please come back to us," Kamui pleaded. "You can find something to protect if you look."

"Seishirou-san was the only thing that truly mattered to me. Now that he's gone, I have to live for what he wanted."

"No, you don't," Kamui said. "You just don't want to let him die. You're trying to become him. I can see it happening."

"Shut up."

"You need to let him go, Subaru. You can't let him keep a hold on you, even in death."

"Shut up."

"Please, Subaru. You have to understand. He's dead and he won't come back. Living in his apartment, doing his job; nothing you do is going to bring him back."

"Kamui. Shut the fuck up."

Kamui closed his mouth and looked at his former friend.

"I know that this won't bring him back. I don't intend to try. He told me that I need to let him go. I'm not trying to become him. I'm only the Sakurazukamori because I killed him. And I can't ignore the duties of this position. If I were to, the Tree would die and that would upset Japan's magical balance, making the kekkai easier to destroy."

He paused and looked at Kamui. "Do you want that? Do you want to lose the war because of me? If I don't do my duties as the Sakurazukamori, you're going to lose and humanity will be wiped out."

"I'm sorry," Kamui said. "I won't bother you again."

With that, the amethyst-eyed boy left the area. Subaru closed his eyes and leaned against the Tree. He watched as Kamui disappeared into the night. He sighed and stood to leave.

"Tomorrow, you'll teach me to feed you," he said. "What I said is true. I won't let you die."

_::I can last a while longer,::_ the Tree replied. _::You aren't ready to learn that yet, anyway. We still have quite a way to go.::_

Subaru took a final drag on his cigarette and flicked it away. He headed home.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A guest awaited the Sakurazukamori. An uninvited guest, a very much unwelcome guest. Subaru looked at Fuuma, who was lounging on the couch, looking through a magazine while crude J-rock blasted from the radio.

"Oh, welcome home, Subaru-kun," the teen said, smirking. "Hope you don't mind that I let myself in."

_(("Okaeri," Seishirou said with a smirk on his lips, "Subaru-kun."))_

Subaru shook the memory out of his mind. "Get the hell out of here."

Fuuma set down the magazine and turned the music off with the remote that was sitting on the coffee table.

"Now, now, Subaru-kun," he said. "That's very impolite."

_(("My, my," Seishirou said. "How impolite, Subaru-kun."))_

"Don't," Subaru muttered. "Don't call me that…"

"We need to talk," the Dark Kamui told him.

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Author's Note: Whee! Cliffhanger! --dodges rotten vegetables and weapons-- __Seriously. Now you have to wait impatiently for the next update. _

_**Subaru's Voice:** Don't put yourself down, hon. You write beautifully! I'm still waiting for you to update Onsen. Don't make me stop writing until you update._

_**Chris Pwure: **Don't worry about not being the first to review. I'm just glad that you're reading it. Hope it's not too depressing for you. In your review, you said you wanted me to put your favorite couple together. Elaborate. What's your favorite couple?_

_**Mysterious Blue Eyes:** Here's an update for you! beams I'm so glad you love this fic. And thanks for the compliment! hugs you_

_**Tezuka Eiri:** Sorry, but I have to tell you. There are going to be very few SeixSu scenes. This isn't a true SeixSu fanfic. I'd tell you more, but don't want to give away the story._


	4. Wasuresaru

_Author's Note: Please, dear readers, be forewarned that this chapter is where I begin to get twisted. And if you remember the little flashbacks when Fuuma called Subaru "Subaru-kun," I will be explaining that sometime in the near future, so keep your shirts on._

Part Four: Wasuresaru

Subaru didn't move from his spot at the door. He glared at Fuuma as the teen stood and walked towards him. The Dark Kamui's eyes burned into Subaru's own, the amber color glowing almost the same shade that Seishirou's eyes once were. In that look, Subaru could see the similarities between the two men.

"You're the Sakurazukamori," Fuuma said, a soft yet evil smile on his face. "And the Sakurazukamori belongs on the side of the Seven Angels."

He stepped closer as Subaru took a step back, shaking his head.

"I know that you can no longer create a kekkai," Fuuma continued. "You can no longer perform your duties as a Seal."

"I won't help you," Subaru said.

"You may not have a choice," Fuuma warned. "The Seals have no use for you anymore. The Ten no Ryu strive to protect humanity. You have nothing left to protect."

Subaru said nothing. Fuuma took another few steps forwards, making Subaru back up into the wall. The Dark Kamui leaned forward and pressed his lips firmly against the older man's. Subaru was too shocked to fight back, so Fuuma merely continued to kiss him, slipping his tongue between the Sakurazukamori's lips, tasting the insides of his mouth. He broke the kiss moments later, in need of air.

"Think about it, Subaru-kun," he said, gently pushing the dazed older man to the side. "I'll come by some other time."

With that, the Dark Kamui opened the door and left the apartment. Subaru stared off into space for a few moments until he ran into the bathroom and poured as much mouthwash as possible into his mouth, trying to get the taste of the younger man to disappear.

* * *

Fuuma waited a couple of days before returning to Subaru's apartment. He had Satsuki watching for Subaru's return from his nightly visits to the Tree. She would have BEAST turn on the television in the apartment when Subaru reached the apartment complex.

The apartment was dark as Fuuma waited. He wanted to be sure that Subaru didn't know he was there. The darkness would hide him long enough.

The television suddenly flickered on, letting Fuuma know that Subaru was almost home. He went over to check on something in the light of the television. Then he went back to the couch, sat down, picked up the remote and turned the television back off.

A few minutes later, the door opened. There was a click and the room was flooded with light. Subaru walked into the living room and nearly had a heart attack at the sight of the Dark Kamui sitting on the couch.

"What is it with you and coming into my apartment?" Subaru asked.

"Seishirou left a key under the houseplant outside the door," Fuuma shrugged.

Subaru inwardly cursed Seishirou. He set his keys on the counter and shrugged off the black trenchcoat he wore. Fuuma whistled.

"I see you bought yourself some new clothes," he said, looking Subaru over.

The new Sakurazukamori was wearing tight black denim jeans and a black turtleneck. It looked good on him, but Fuuma thought it still needed some work. Get the guy in some leather and he'd look damn good. He kept this thought to himself.

"So," the Dark Kamui said. "Have you come to a decision?"

"Maybe," Subaru shrugged. He toed off his shoes and went into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, he pulled out a can of soda. He wasn't in the mood to make tea for his caffeine craving, so a simple Coca-Cola would have to do. He took another one out to Fuuma. Stupid manners would be the death of him yet.

"I've given you time to think it over," Fuuma said, opening his can of soda.

"I know. And I've come to the conclusion that I will become one of your Angels, but you will not make me fight against Kamui. And you will let me do things my way."

"Fine by me, Subru-kun."

Fuuma stood and went over top where he had put a gift for Subaru. He picked it up and took it over to the older man.

"He wanted you to have this," he said, handing the flask to Subaru. "He was upset that you lost your eye. The morning he died, he told me that he hated me for doing that to you and that I was to give this to you."

The flask held a single amber eye. Subaru recognized it immediately. After having seen it so many years in the face of his lover, he would recognize it anywhere. He took the business card that the Dark Kamui had extended to him. With a glance at it, he saw that it was for an optometrist who specialized in eye surgery.

"After you get that eye put in, come see me. Our headquarters is in the basement of City Hall."

Subaru nodded and watched as Fuuma left the apartment. He looked at the flask in his hand then held it close to his chest.

"Seishirou-san."

* * *

Kamui woke up with a start. The ground was beginning to shade. He grabbed a jacket, threw it on, and ran outside, grabbing his shoes in his way out. He leaped from rooftop to rooftop, heading towards the source of the quake, with Arashi and Yuzuriha shortly following. Sorata slept like the dead, and not even an earthquake would ever wake him. So, the three of them raced towards the kekkai that was already beginning to crumble.

"We're too late!" Yuzuriha cried. "It's beginning to fall!"

"Damn it!" Kamui said.

They landed on a building a safe distance away from the broken kekkai and watched as it collapsed, taking out part of Tokyo. Yuzuriha and Arashi didn't notice the figure that leaping away, but Kamui did. His heart hell as he realized who it was.

"Subaru…"

* * *

Subaru returned to his apartment at eleven o'clock, his arm covered in blood. He had just collapsed a kekkai and killed a man to feed the Tree. This night was not going well for him. He ran into the bathroom and was violently ill. The sight of the blood on his arm made him completely nauseous. When he was done being sick, he stripped off his bloody clothes and jumped into the shower. He scrubbed the blood off of him and then just stood there in the shower, letting the hot water pummel his body.

_(("Konban wa, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said, his arm covered in blood. "You caught me at a bad time, I'm afraid. I was just about to shower."))_

The memories filled Subaru's mind. He just couldn't think of anything without remembering the times he spent with Seishirou. Quickly shutting off the water, Subaru decided to go somewhere to just stop thinking at all. He dressed in clean clothes and headed out.

There was a bar not far from the apartment complex. He pushed the door open and went inside. There was an empty seat at the counter, so Subaru crossed the room and sat down. The bartender turned to him and asked what Subaru wanted.

"Give me the strongest drink you have," Subaru said.

"Okay," the young woman said. "One Fallen Angel, coming right up."

_((Author's note: I have no clue how strong a Fallen Angel really is, so if I made a mistake, forgive me.))_

Subaru blinked. Fallen Angel. It described Seishirou perfectly, for Seishirou truly was a fallen Angel. He shook his head and stared at the counter for a minute. When the young woman returned with his drink, he thanked and took an experiment sip of the drink, then swallowed the rest of it in two gulps. His throat burned as the alcohol slid down it.

"You okay, hon?" the bartender asked, seeing that Subaru had just turned a lovely violet shade.

"Yeah. Keep them coming, please."

"First time drinking, huh?" she asked. "Let me get you something else."

She turned, whipped up another drink and handed it to him. "Try this. It's a .44 Magnum. Rather strong, but not quite as much as some."

"Thanks."

Subaru gulped down the drink. He made a face. "Where's your bathroom?"

"Right there," the bartender replied, extending a finger.

Subaru ran into the bathroom, kneeled in one of the stalls and threw up.

_::Are you sure you should be drinking like that?::_ the Tree asked. _::Shouldn't you start off with a weaker drink?::_

"Weak drinks won't make me forget things. And that's all I want to do. I just want to forget."

_::Fine, but I should warn you, you're going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning.::_

"I don't care."

Subaru stood and went back to the counter.

"Feeling better?" the bartender asked.

"Yeah. Get me another drink please. Then I think I'll be done."

"Only if you're sure."

"I'm sure."

"Okay, then," the bartender replied. She got Subaru another drink.

"What's this one?" Subaru asked.

"Assisted Suicide."

Subaru drank that one down, pulled out some money, paid for his drinks and stumbled out of the bar. As soon as he walked out, he ran into Fuuma.

"Need to work on your alcohol tolerance, I see," the younger man said.

"Nngh. Lemme 'lone…" Subaru mumbled.

"You don't look so good. Let me help you home."

"Mpmh…" Subaru said, carelessly waving a hand, and then nearly collapsing.

Fuuma put an arm around the older man and helped him walk to the apartment complex, just three city blocks from the bar. The two of them went up to Subaru's apartment and had just about reached the door when Subaru finally passed out. Fuuma sighed and struggled to reach into the older man's pockets to get the key to the apartment. It took a few tried to get the right key, but he eventually got the door open. He dragged Subaru into the bedroom and laid him on the bed. Then he went into the living room and went to sleep on the couch.

* * *

Hokuto looked at Kakyou. "What do you mean, Subaru went to a bar and got himself so hammered that Fuuma had to take him home?"

"I mean exactly that," the golden-eyed yumemi replied. "Subaru-san went to a bar to drown out his thoughts, go three drinks, left the bar and ran into the Dark Kamui."

Hokuto sighed in exasperation. "That stupid brother of mine! I can't belive he got himself _drunk!_"

"Well, those are three of the strongest drinks out there," Seishirou said from his spot in the Dreamscape.

_((Author's Note: Again, if I'm wrong, you'll have to forgive me. I'm too lazy to do any research at the moment.))_

"But Subaru knows damn well that he has a very low alcohol tolerance!"

"You heard what he told the bartender. He wanted to forget things. He must have thought that getting drunk was the quickest way to do so."

"Sei-chan, go talk to him!" Hokuto said, shoving her friend towards Kakyou.

"But…!"

"Kakyou, take him to Subaru, please."

"Hokuto, I'm sorry, but not now," Kakyou replied. "You two have to get out of the Dreamscape. The Dark Kamui is coming."

"Eep!" Hokuto gasped. She grabbed Seishirou's wrist. "Let's go, Sei-chan! We'll try again tomorrow."

The two of them leapt out of the Dreamscape just as Fuuma entered. Fortunately, the Dark Kamui hadn't seen them. He turned to Kakyou.

"What the hell is up with him?"

"He wanted to forget," the yumemi replie.d "He's having a hard time getting over Seishirou's death. And taking over as the Sakurazukamori hasn't been easy, either."

"Well, he needs to get over everything if he's going to make a decent Angel," Fuuma huffed. "I can't have him getting himself drunk every time he collapses a kekkai."

"Give him some time. He'll get over it eventually."

"But I need him now," Fuuma whined, sounding completely childish.

"Patience is a virtue."

"The hell it is."_

* * *

Author's Note: And here's where I stop for now. Sorry, guys, but this chapter is getting kinda long and I want to get on to the next one. Also, I don't know if the chapter title was correctly translated, but it's supposed to mean "to forget completely; to leave behind" or something like that._

_By the way, I need a beta-reader. Anyone who is interested, please e-mail me at SakuraGemeauxatgmaildotcom (cept with correct symbols and punctuation!) _

_**Subaru's Voice:** Again, thanks for the review! Your encouragement is greatly appreciated! Ooh, good luck on those finals. Hope you do well.  
__**Chris Pwure:** Sorry, I'm having memory lapses! Being eighteen does that to a yaoi whore like me. No one's going to murder you. Yes, this is not really a SxS fic, though I'll randomly put SxS scenes in. Judging by this chapter and the summary I put up, I think it's going to be more of a FxS. If you need help with the third chapter of your fic, you can always e-mail me!  
__**Mysterious Blue Eyes: **You've read all my fics?! I'm honored! I'll be sure to read yours when it's up (or is it already?).  
__**Hiruka-chan:** Thanks for the encouraging review! Here's another chapter. I hope you find it okay.  
__**Tekoo:** The KxS bits are mostly Kamui pining after Subaru. There's no true KxS scenes in here. I despise the pairing. Two ukes should never go together (sorry to all KxS fans out there!). Sad to say, the FxS bits are going to be rather common. But we'll possibly see some FxK. Depends on how much sugar/caffeine/homicidal urges I have while writing._


	5. Kizu

_Warnings: Author is treading new waters here. Forgive her for this chapter if you find it…odd. Also, smut. Filthy, dirty, yummy smut._

* * *

Part Five: Kizu

It was still four months until the Final Day. Subaru had been working as one of the Angels for three weeks. Those three weeks passed by with much stress. He still had a hard time collapsing a kekkai without some sort of guilt. He had grown somewhat accustomed to killing people for the Tree, as really, the government mostly sent requests for those who were truly unsavory people. Those who didn't deserve to die, well, Subaru ignored those requests, often sending them back.

And really, Subaru wanted to be with Seishirou. He had thought often of committing suicide, but he wasn't sure what would happen to the Tree if he did, so he usually pushed those thoughts aside. For all he knew, if the Sakurazukamori were to commit suicide, a replacement would not be found. He decided he'd better not risk it, for the sake of the country.

Besides, he had promised himself to wait until the Final Day.

But right now, Subaru really needed to get himself some relief. He didn't trust himself to go to a Soapland, in case he was to run into Kasumi Karen of the Seven Seals. That was the last thing he needed. And as far as he knew, none of the other Angels were interested. Well, except for Fuuma; the Dark Kamui seemed eager to get into his pants. However, the younger man reminded Subaru way too much of Seishirou. Like the time they had fought, Subaru could see Seishirou in Fuuma, they were so much alike: twisted, sadistic, and in charge.

God, if Subaru didn't get some relief, he was going to die of his frustration.

"I wouldn't mind helping you out, Subaru-kun," a voice said behind him.

Subaru jumped nearly out of his skin. He turned to see the Dark Kamui standing behind him, a smirk on his lips, amber eyes hidden behind a pair of shades. Subaru forced himself to calm down.

"Don't do that."

"I'm serious. If you need a bit of relief, you could always come to me," Fuuma said. "I know a few tricks that could get your senses reeling."

"I don't want you," Subaru said,

"I know," was the Dark Kamui's reply. "But you need me. I'm the only one who can give you what you need. Think about it, then come to me when you're ready, Subaru-kun."

The younger man turned and walked away, leaving Subaru to his thoughts. The Sakurazukamori turned the opposite way and left the City Hall building. He headed directly to Ueno Park. He didn't bother calling a taxi; the walk would give him time to think. And all he really needed right now was to think. To think of his work, his pathetic excuse for a life, his frustration….And to think of Seishirou, who seemed to be the sole reason for everything wrong in Subaru's life.

He stopped in front of a store and looked into the window. He groaned inwardly as he discovered that this particular store happened to be a pet store. Turning away from the window, he walked off, once again, heading towards the park.

Subaru stopped. The apartment complex didn't allow dogs, but cats were acceptable. And Subaru felt that having another living creature in the apartment would make him feel better. He looked in the window of the pet store and his eyes landed on a black kitten with amber eyes. Going inside, he pulled out his wallet and went over to the counter, where a teenage girl with short, uneven blonde hair stood.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"I would like that cat," Subaru said, indicating the black one. "He would lighten my home's atmosphere."

The girl picked up the kitten. "Actually, this one's a girl."

Subaru blinked. "I'll take her."

"Give her a good home," the girl said. "I've grown fond of her."

Subaru took the cat and paid for her as she crawled down his shirt. The cashier giggled as Subaru raised an eyebrow.

"She likes you."

Subaru nodded. He held the cat close, purchased a few necessary items, and left the store. And ran smack into, of all people, Shirou Kamui.

"Well, shit," Subaru muttered.

"Su-Subaru!" Kamui exclaimed. "Oh, God! I've been looking all over for you! I've been so worried! And…"

Kamui stared as a cat's head popped out of the neckline of Subaru's t-shirt.

"…You have a cat in your shirt," he finished, fighting the urge to burst out laughing.

"She likes it down there, I guess."

Kamui had to stifle a laugh at that. Especially because, right after Subaru had finished speaking, the kitten had mewed and crawled back under the shirt.

"Now, if you don't mind, I need to get home," Subaru said, turning and walking away.

"I want to talk to you, Subaru," Kamui said, following. "Not for long, I just need to ask you one thing."

Subaru kept walking, holding the box full of kitten supplies with one hand, while keeping his new pet from falling out of his shirt with the other. He turned into an alley and jumped away. He was quicker than Kamui, so he managed to lose the younger man. It didn't take long for him to reach the apartment complex.

When Subaru opened the door to the apartment, the cat jumped out of his shirt and immediately ran over to the sofa. Subaru let out a small laugh and went to sit on the sofa with the kitten.

"You're so cute," he told her. "I think I'll name you Sei. In his memory."

Sei walked over to Subaru and mewed. With a soft smile on his face, Subaru brushed his hand along the kitten's back. Sei arched her back into Subaru's hand and purred.

"Cute kitten," a deep voice said.

Subaru turned to the window, where the voice was coming from. Fuuma sat on the windowsill, the window open behind him. Sei jumped into Subaru's lap, burying her face in the folds of the fabric, as if hiding from the Dark Kamui. Chuckling, Fuuma stepped down and approached Subaru.

"So, you've changed your mind?" he asked.

"I have no idea what the hell you're talking about," Subaru replied.

"Deep down, you know that you want me, if only just a little."

"I don't…"

"Tsk, tsk, Subaru-kun. You forget that I can see Wishes. You can't lie that you don't want me."

"Look, Fuuma," Subaru said. "You tell me what I wish, but can you prove to me that it's what I want?"

"Grown a backbone, have you?" Fuuma asked. "Or is it just an act?"

Subaru stood up and set Sei down. The kitten bolted into the kitchen and hid under a counter. Fuuma smirked and stepped even closer to the former Sumeragi.

"You want me to prove to you that you want me?" he asked, his amber eyes glowing with a dangerous hue of gold. "I can do that. I can make you see."

With that, the Dark Kamui leaned forward and pressed his lips to the older man's. Despite his best efforts to resist, Subaru couldn't help but moan when the younger man pushed his tongue into his mouth. He felt Fuuma's tongue slip around the insides of him mouth, the taste of the younger man filling it.

Fuuma quickly ended the kiss as an angry yowl broke the silence of the apartment. He looked down at the kitten, whose claws were sinking into his leg. Subaru let out a soft laugh and picked Sei off Fuuma's leg. He set her down on the sofa as Fuuma muttered profanities under his breath.

After a couple minutes, Subaru got Sei to calm down and Fuuma regained his composure. He cleared his throat and looked at the Sakurazukamori.

"Shall be try this again?" he asked. "In the bedroom, perhaps?"

Subaru said nothing, but lead Fuuma to the bedroom. Fuuma stepped in first, then shoved the older man against the door as he shut it. The Dark Kamui kissed Subaru firmly, while one of his hands found its way under the older man's shirt.

Fighting back the moan that was rising up his throat, Subaru made no sign that he wanted this. He gasped for breath when Fuuma broke the kiss.

"You still haven't convinced me," Subaru smirked.

"Oh?" Fuma asked. "Well, that's because we've only just begun."

The Dark Kamui reached behind Subaru's head, running his hand through the older man's jet-black hair as he kissed him again. He gently pulled Subaru's head back, ending the kiss and moving down to nibble at the Sakurazukamori's neck. Subaru gasped at the feel, but other than that, did nothing. It wasn't until Fuuma pulled him slipped his hand under the older man's waistband that Subaru's self-control began to crack.

"Oh, God…" he moaned.

"You like that, do you?" Fuuma asked, stroking the older man.

Subaru moaned. He tried to fight away, but the younger man had him in a tight grip. The Dark Kamui leaned close to him.

"You're too tense," he said. "Relax."

He licked at Subaru's earlobe, causing the older man to shiver. He wrapped his fingers around the Sakurazukamori and squeezed gently. Subaru cried out in a mix of ecstasy and guilt. He wanted this, but denied it for the sake of Seishirou's memory. Subaru tilted his head back, closed his eyes, and let out a long moan as Fuuma's hand ran up and down his growing erection.

"You want more, don't you?" Fuuma asked, smirking. "Say it. I'll give you all you need and can stand."

"Oh, God!" Subaru gasped. "Please!"

"Say it. Say you want this."

"God, damn it!" Subaru exclaimed as the Dark Kamui pressed down on him. "I want this! I need it!"

"There," Fuuma said. "Was that so hard?"

He removed his hand and led Subaru over to the bed. He pushed Subaru down and straddled him. Pulling off the black, high-necked t-shirt that Subaru was wearing, the Dark Kamui prepared to truly start things. He ran his fingers along the soft, pale skin of the older man.

Subaru gasped and moaned at the feel of Fuuma's fingers skittering across his chest. He could barely contain the ecstasy that filled his body as it quickly overran any guilt he had felt earlier. The feel of the younger man's hand all over his body made him forget everything.

Fuuma chuckled, seeing how the former Sumeragi squirmed beneath him. He leaned forward and bit at the older man's collarbone. Then he sucked at the spot he had bitten, leaving a faint bruise. Subaru whimpered at the slight pain, and then moaned as Fuuma did the same thing, this time on a soft spot on his neck. He tilted his head back to give the Dark Kamui better access.

Fuuma knew, with so much pent up tension, that Subaru was going to come quickly. He pulled off the older man's pants and threw them to the floor along with the boxers he wore. Then he stood and stripped down, getting out the lubricant that he had brought with him. He knew that Seishirou had kept lubricant in the bedroom, but he didn't want to waste time searching. Opening the tube, he coated his fingers with the oil it contained. Then he lay on Subaru, reached down, and slipped a finger into the older man.

Subaru cried out sharply at the invasion of his body. He instinctively grasped at the sheets beneath him, twining his fingers into the white fabric. He forced his muscles to relax, but still tensed slightly as a second and third finger entered him. He whimpered at the pain, but did not cry out. Then he felt Fuuma remove his fingers and position himself.

Subaru didn't have time to brace himself as the Dark Kamui thrust into him. He cried out, putting his arms around the younger man. His lifted himself up, forcing Fuuma deeper into him. His fingernails dug into Fuuma's back as the younger man pulled out, then pushed back into him. Subaru followed this rhythm, thrusting his hips upwards with Fuuma's movement. He felt himself approaching his climax.

Subaru moaned loudly as his orgasmed, his nails scrapping down Fuuma's back. He felt the Dark Kamui come inside him a few moments later.

Fuuma pulled out of Subaru as the older man's arm slid down from around him. He got up and saw that Subaru looked upset. Noticing a pack of cigarette on the bedside table, he grabbed two and lit them, handing one to the older man, who took it silently.

"Feel better?" Fuuma asked, taking a drag on his cigarette.

Subaru nodded, blowing out a bit of smoke. "Thank you," he said, hoarsely.

"Anytime," Fuuma smirked.

The Dark Kamui gathered up his clothes and went into the bathroom, presumably to clean up and get dressed to leave. Subaru put out his cigarette, curled up on the bed, covered himself with a thin blanket and silently began to cry.

Fuuma came out a while later, fully dressed, and left. Subaru had cried himself to sleep, so there was no reason for him to stay. He had done what he needed to do. He went to the front room, grabbed his shoes from the window and headed home.

_

* * *

Author's Note: I've completely ignored this fic for too long. Then again, FuumaxSubaru is pretty damn hard to write. I am so sorry, everyone, for being so later with this update!_

_**Chris Pwure: **I am so sorry that this is so late! ((wails)) But you'll forgive me, won't you? I'm looking back on the review you sent me back in December right now. I'm glad you like the interaction between Fuuma and Subaru.  
__**Tezuka Eiri: **Yes, it sucks. No K&S (Personally, I hate the couple, but that's just me), little to no S&S, lots of F&S. I feel dirty. I'll tell you what, e-mail me and we can talk about some spoilers. You mentioned you want Subaru with Seishirou, right? Well…e-mail me.  
__**Mysterious Blue Eyes: **Thanks for telling me that I rock! I feel much love. Thank you!  
__**Hiruka-chan:** Thank you for you comments! I went through this entire book of mixed drinks to find ones I felt were appropriate. Though, I just randomly threw the .44 Magnum in. I might put more bar scenes in. Hope you liked the F&S scene!  
_**_Babyma-mar:_ **_I'm glad you like it!  
_**_SuperSeme Fuuma:_ **_Lookie! I updated! I did it all by myself! I thank you for trying to help me with this chapter! ((hugs you))  
__**Johnny-Depp-Luv:** I don't know if you read the entire fic, but I'm glad you like it! Here's your update!  
_**_Agent420:_ **_Thank you so much for your comments! I'm glad you like this fic! Here's a spoiler for you: there's a little S&S scene in the next chapter. Shhh! Don't tell anyone!_

_Again, I apologize for the extremely late update._


	6. Daite

_Author's Note: Ces Larmes Je Pleure is back on a roll. Here's the next chapter!_

_  
Warning: Angst. Visitation from beyond. You know me: obsessed with the afterlife. I think Yami no Matsuei had too much of an impression on me._

* * *

Chapter Six: Daite

Subaru's sleep was dreamless for a while. Then, he began to dream about Ueno Park. Seishirou was there. So was Hokuto. There was a blanket spread out underneath the Tree, with a picnic basket sitting next to Hokuto. The elder of the Sumeragi twins looked up and smiled. She waved at Subaru.

"Subaru-chan!" she exclaimed. "Come join us!"

Subaru stood there, half-way expecting an apparition of his younger self to rush by him. When that didn't happen, he blinked.

"Come on, Subaru-chan!" Hokuto said, getting impatient. "We've already been waiting for you for an hour!"

"S-sorry," Subaru muttered, walking towards his sister and Seishirou. He noticed Seishirou looking at him and hung his head, the guilt from the activity between him and Fuuma returning. He sat down between Hokuto and Seishirou.

"You've grown your hair out," Hokuto observed. "I'm glad! I like your hair like this!"

"Thanks," Subaru whispered, feeling completely uncomfortable. He couldn't tell if this was just another dream of his past or whether this was Seishirou and Hokuto visiting his dreams, like Seishirou had once before.

"Is something wrong, Subaru-chan?" Hokuto asked, looking at her brother.

Subaru blinked. He forced a soft smile on his face. "No, nothing's wrong at all, Hokuto-chan. I'm just glad to see you."

"Are you sure?" Hokuto asked. "You don't look like it. And you haven't even seen me in nine years."

Great. It really was Hokuto and Seishirou making a visit. Now he felt horrible. He couldn't let Seishirou find out what he was doing with the Dark Kamui. He looked at Seishirou, who looked back with a worried expression on his face.

"Are you sure you're all right, Subaru-kun?" the older man asked. He put on a grin, like he had done so many times before. "You don't look happy to see me, even."

Subaru swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. He felt tears welling up in his eyes. Unable to control himself, he launched himself at Seishirou, wrapping his arms around the older man. "I'm sorry!"

Surprised and confused, Seishirou embraced the crying Sumeragi. "What for, Subaru-kun?"

"I didn't want to!" Subaru sobbed. "Not at first, but he…He knew what I needed, Seishirou-san!"

"Subaru, what is it?" Seishirou asked.

Subaru shook his head against Seishirou's chest. "I'm so sorry!"

Seishirou looked at Hokuto, who was just as confused as he was. Subaru was in hysterical tears, apologizing for something that neither of them knew about. Seishirou held onto Subaru as the younger man cried.

"I'm…sorry," Subaru muttered into Seishirou's shirt. "I didn't want to…but then…"

Seishirou pushed Subaru back just enough to look into his eyes. They were mismatched, one green and the other gold. Fuuma had given Subaru the eye, as Seishirou had asked.

"Subaru, what are you talking about?" Seishirou asked. "What happened?"

Subaru shook his head again, tears still falling from his eyes. "I can't…I can't say."

"Subaru-kun. Tell me what happened."

Subaru sniffed. He told Seishirou the entire story: how he was frustrated, how Fuuma had offered relief, how they wound up having sex. When he finished, Subaru started crying again. Hokuto was both surprised and upset. Seishirou, on the other hand, was downright seething.

"How could you let him do that to you?" he asked, angrily. "How could you let him even _touch _you?"

"I don't know!" Subaru cried hysterically, tears running down his face. "I don't know! I'm sorry!"

"Damn it, Subaru!" Seishirou said harshly. "Stop apologizing!"

Subaru fell silent. Tears fell from his eyes as he looked at the man he had loved and lost. He felt his sister put her arm around him. Hokuto hugged him tightly. Subaru closed his eyes.

"Oh, Subaru," she sighed. "It's all right. You were confused. It's okay."

"No, it's not!" Subaru protested. "I betrayed Seishirou-san!"

"Subaru," Seishirou said calmly, "shut up."

Subaru looked at the former Sakurazukamori in surprise. Seishirou had never before told him to shut up. A pang of sadness hit his heart. Seishirou's eyes were closed and he was taking a drag on a freshly lit cigarette. Apparently, old habits die hard, even in the afterlife.

"It's not your fault, Subaru-kun," the older man said, blowing out smoke.

"But it was!" Subaru argued. "I didn't…I didn't even fight back!"

"Subaru-kun," Seishirou said, looking at his opposite, "it was not your fault. Fuuma has a warped ability to take what you want and twist it so he can get into your pants. Trust me. He tried it on me every chance he got."

Subaru sniffled. He wiped his eye with his palm. "Seishirou-san…"

"What is it, Subaru-kun?"

"I'm sorry."

Seishirou looked at Subaru, flicked away his cigarette and gently kissed the younger man. It was a quick, forgiving kiss and it made melt.

"It's okay, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said, ending the kiss. "Just be a little more careful around Fuuma."

Subaru nodded. He leaned in as Seishirou kissed him again, this time longer, more passionate, and, on Subaru's part, more desperate. A couple long moments, Seishirou broke away. Subaru looked at the older man, the pain and the guilt gone.

"You two are so adorable," Hokuto sighed. Then she glared at Seishirou pointedly. "If only Sei-chan hadn't gone and committed suicide using my little brother as a weapon."

"Hokuto-chan," Subaru said, looking pained, "could you please not bring that up?"

"Oh, right!" Hokuto exclaimed. "Sorry!"

"How about some tea?" Seishirou asked, trying to change the subject.

"Oh, yeah!" Hokuto laughed. "Silly me, I forgot!"

Subaru smiled at his sister. It wasn't a smile like had back nine years ago, but a smile nonetheless. He shifted his position and leaned into Seishirou's embrace, glad to be with Seishirou and Hokuto, even if it were only a dream.

* * *

Subaru spent the next morning doing pretty much nothing. He was content for now. His tension had been relieved, the guilt he had felt had been washed away by Seishirou during the dream, and he was feeling better. He decided to take the day off. He wouldn't do any work that day.

_:I'm hungry:_ the Tree said.

_:Tough:_ was Subaru's reply, as he sank down on the sofa, a book in hand. Sei jumped into the young man's lap, curling up and closing her eyes. Subaru smiled softly at the kitten and then turned to his book.

About an hour and a half later, the doorbell rang. Subaru groaned, set his book down and coaxed a reluctant Sei from her nap. He stood up and went to the door. He looked through the peephole and muttered an obscenity when he saw Fuuma standing there.

"Go away," he called.

"We need to talk," Fuuma replied.

"No thanks," Subaru said, locking the door for good measure.

"Open the door," Fuuma ordered.

Subaru ignored him. He went over to the sofa and sat down, turning on the radio as loud as he could stand. He barely heard Fuuma knock loudly. He didn't care. At least, not until the Dark Kamui was standing in front of him.

"Did you forget that I have a key?" the younger man asked.

Subaru ignored him, turning back to his book. Fuuma, growing irritated, snatched the book from his hands and threw it across the room. He also grabbed the remote and shut off the radio.

"Hey!" Subaru protested.

"You're lagging behind, Subaru-kun," Fuuma told him. "It's your turn to get rid of a kekkai."

"Not today," Subaru retorted. "I have plans."

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not. I plan to do nothing."

Fuuma frowned. "You're so irritating."

"That's not what you were thinking last night," Subaru said. "Or were you too busy fucking my brains out that you weren't thinking at all?"

Fuuma raised a fist to back hand him, but thought differently when Subaru flinched away. He took advantage of the situation and straddled the older man quickly. Subaru struggled, but Fuuma refused to move. He took hold of Subaru's wrists and held them above the older man's head as he leaned down to kiss him.

Subaru angrily bit at Fuuma's tongue when it pushed its way into his mouth. He didn't bite hard enough to draw blood, but he was satisfied when the Dark Kamui withdrew. He tried once more to knock the teenager off of him, but in vain. Fuuma remained on top of him.

"A tad on the feisty side today, aren't you?" he asked.

"Get the hell away from me!" Subaru snapped, struggling against Fuuma. "I hate you! Get away from me!"

"Don't be like that, Subaru-kun," Fuuma said, slipping a hand beneath Subaru's shirt.

Subaru let out a choked protest as the younger man's hand ran over his chest. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He felt Fuuma's hand slip down to his lower stomach and then unbutton his pants.

"Let me go!" he shouted. "Let me go!"

"Excuse me," a new voice said.

Fuuma looked up to see a young-looking man. He had pale hair and his eyes were a soft gray color with a tinge of pink. His wardrobe was simple: black slacks with a gray turtleneck. A dark gray sports jacket completed the ensemble. The man had a pleasant grin on his face.

"Sorry to interrupt," he said. His voice was cheerful, yet had a slightly dangerous tone. "But that's my master you're molesting. Do you mind stopping?"

Fuuma's eyes narrowed at the newcomer. "And you are?"

"The Tree," the man replied simply. "Now if you wouldn't mind…"

Fuuma rolled his eyes. He rose off Subaru and stood. He turned to the former Sumeragi. "I'll see you later, Subaru-kun. I expect a kekkai destroyed tomorrow."

With that, the Dark Kamui left. Subaru let his breathing return to normal, and then sat up, redoing the button on his pants. He looked to the Tree.

"Thank you," he said.

"Not a problem," it replied. "You shouldn't let him do that to you."

"I tried to fight him off," Subaru said in defense. He felt tears well up in his eyes. "I tried."

The illusionary man went over and sat next to Subaru. He put his arms around the Sakurazukamori. "It's okay. I know you tried."

Subaru was silent for a minute as he fought back tears. After a while, he stood up. The Tree looked at him.

"Where are you going?" it asked.

"I need to take a walk," was Subaru's reply. He got his jacket, pulled on his shoes and headed outside.

He picked a random direction. Following it, Subaru just walked. No set destination in mind. He just needed to be alone; alone with his thoughts. His mind dwelled on memories of his life back before everything happened. Back when Seishirou and Hokuto were both still alive. He had been happy back then, when he had no clue who Seishirou really was.

Suddenly, Subaru ran into someone. The young woman stumbled backwards and Subaru reached out to help her regain her balance. He looked at her face and noticed a pale scar down the left side of her face.

_It couldn't be…_he thought.

"Su-Sumeragi…kun?" the young woman asked. "Is…is that you?"

"Hashimoto-san," Subaru replied. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

Hashimoto Kuniko nodded. "Almost ten years." She gave him a soft smile. "My apartment isn't far from here. Would you like to join me for some tea? We could talk for a while."

"Sure," Subaru shrugged.

"Is something wrong?" Kuniko asked, leading Subaru to her apartment. "You don't seem like the Subaru I remember."

"A lot of things have changed about me, Hashimoto-san," Subaru said, sadness filling his voice.

A few minutes later, they reached an apartment complex. Kuniko led Subaru up the stairs to the third floor, then over to her apartment. She unlocked the door and asked Subaru to come inside. Subaru stepped inside and removed his shoes.

"So, how have you been?" Subaru asked.

"Oh, can't complain," Kuniko replied, heading into the kitchen. "I hope you don't mind decaf."

"I don't mind."

"Okay," she said, going about making tea. "I just got my bachelor's degree in art."

"Congratulations," Subaru said.

"Thanks."

Subaru looked around the apartment. There was a photo on the wall of Kuniko with a toddler in her arms. He went over and looked at it as Kuniko came out with two mugs of tea.

"That's my son, Tsukasa," she said, noticing Subaru inspecting the photo. "He just turned three last month. His father is going to be bringing him home in a little while."

"You're married, now?"

"No. Hiroto and I got divorced last year. It just wasn't working out."

"I see," Subaru said, taking the tea Kuniko offered.

The two of them sat down at the table. Kuniko gave Subaru a soft smile.

"How have you been?" the young woman asked. "Is your sister doing well?"

Subaru looked pained. "No. Hokuto-chan…she was killed several years ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Kuniko said, softly.

"And I recently lost someone else who was…special to me."

"Oh, my," Kuniko said. "I'm so sorry, Subaru-san."

Subaru looked down at his tea. Kuniko looked at the young man who had once been her friend. She couldn't even begin to imagine the pain he was going through.

"Is it okay if I give you a hug?" she asked.

Subaru gave a slight nod. Kuniko set her tea down, stood up, and went over to Subaru. She put her arms around him and hugged him.

"I'm so sorry," she said. "You must be in so much pain, losing two people who were so close to you."

Subaru nodded. Kuniko released him from her embrace then sat back down. She felt so sad for the young man sitting across from her. She noticed something about Subaru's gaze.

"Your eye…" she whispered.

"Lost it in an…accident…" Subaru lied. He didn't want Kuniko to know the truth about how he had lost it. It would confuse her. "I recently received this one from Seishirou-san. He had arranged it so that I would receive his good eye after he died."

"Is he the one who was…special?" Kuniko asked.

Subaru nodded. He held back tears. "I…it was my fault that he died."

"That can't be true, Subaru-san…"

Subaru shook his head. "I killed him…" he whispered. He stood up, his tea half-finished. "I'm sorry, Hashimoto-san, I have to go."

"Wait," Kuniko said. She stood up and disappeared into another room. Moments later, she returned. She held out a handkerchief to Subaru. He took it from her with a confused look on his face.

"It's yours," Kuniko said. "Remember? I told you that I would return it one day, when I was stronger."

Subaru reflected. Yes, Kuniko had said that she would return it when she was stronger. He thanked her and slipped it into his pocket. He turned and went to the door. He pulled his shoes on and opened the door. There was a man on the other side, who looked as though he was just about to knock on the door. A toddler with messy black hair stood clinging to the man's hand.

"Uhh…" the man said, confused.

"I'm sorry," Subaru said, apathetically. "I was just on my way out."

"Are you 'Kaa-san's new guy?" the little boy asked.

"Tsukasa, that's a rude thing to ask," Kuniko said. She turned to Subaru. "I'm sorry about him, Subaru-san."

"It's okay. He's a cute kid."

"A-ano…I guess…I'll see you around, Subaru-san."

Subaru nodded. "Perhaps."

With that, he left. Kuniko watched him as he headed down the hall and out of sight.

_

* * *

Author's Note: Well. That was unexpected. I just randomly threw Kuniko-san in there. If anyone is confused about who she is, read Tokyo Babylon volume five "Save.B" and discover._

**Subaru's Voice:** I know you didn't like the FxS, but I'm sorry. I had to do it. Blame the twisted pervert part of me. And my muses. It's all Orion's fault, damn it! Blame him! >  
**SuperSeme Fuuma:** Thanks for your review! And for helping me with everything. Evne though you didn't find anything wrong! I'm glad you like Sei. She's just too cute. I couldn't help putting her in!  
**Chris Pwure:** Sorry, hon. Fuuma's just going to bea little bastard for a couple more chapters. Seishirou, however...I'm not sure whether or not I'm going to make him appear after this chapter. It depends on whether or not I feel like being a bitch to him.  
**Hiruka-chan:** Hai! Fuuma the Whore. That's what I was aiming for!  
**Mikazuki:** Yes. Updates! And thanks for pointing out that mistake for me. Evil spell-check ouldn't catch that, you're right. Oh, well. Still. Thanks!  
**Sapadu:** JACKIE! ((glomps)) Yes, writing FxS makes you feel dirty. > But thanks for telling me I have guts.  
**foxy-comic-death:** Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like this fic. Here's an update for you!


	7. Kanashimi

_**Author's Note:** Sorry for the long wait. I've been working on all of my other fanfics and have kinda been ignoring this one. XP Bad Koichi. Bad. ((smacks herself)) Yay for sexy SeishirouxSubaru scenes in Laundry and Lemons. I am so good. X3  
__**Warning:** Um…Seishirou being a bastard, Subaru being a posterboy for angst, and um…Liz. Being herself. As you can probably tell, this chapter serves absolutely no true purpose.  
__**Disclaimer:** Characters belong to CLAMP, but Liz belongs to me. Sorta. Because she acts as my uke when we go to parties. Also, Tsukasa is mine, damn it. ((glomps Tsukasa))_

Part Seven: Kanashimi

_I hate myself,_ Subaru thought as he wallowed in self-loathing.

He had become what he hated. The former Head of the Sumeragi Clan was no longer who he once was. The young man had started as an innocent young boy, later corrupted by the darkness that was the Sakurazukamori. Even when he was but a teenager, he stood no chance at a normal life. Sumeragi Subaru was the prey to the Sakurazukamori since the beginning. And now, he was the Sakurazukamori, using his onmyoujitsu to do just the opposite of what he had been raised to do: to kill.

Yet, even though he killed, it kept the magical balance of the country in check. So, he still protected the country; just no longer the people. He killed the people for the sake of the country. Even still, it felt wrong and he hated doing the job.

Subaru watched as his latest target prepared for bed: Kuzuki Takeshi, a corrupt governmental official. The Sakurazukamori's employers had requested the man's death on account of numerous embezzlements and lies. Subaru had looked into Takeshi-san's background and found that the man had used his own son in order to profit. Upon finding out about this, Subaru had contacted Kuzuki Kakyou.

_"I've been assigned to…kill your father, Kakyou-san."_

_The yumemi looked at Subaru, his eyes filled with the same quiet sadness as usual. Subaru waited for Kakyou to say something._

_"My father is a horrible man, Subaru-san," the golden haired man replied. "I know it is a harsh thing for me to say, but if my father is to die, it will happen. I've foreseen his death several times, but I've never seen who it was who killed him in my dreams."_

_"I apologize, Kakyou-san."_

_"No need to apologize," Kakyou told him. "I admit I never liked my father. He used me, locked me up, and forbade visitors other than those who paid. I have long ago stopped caring for my father."_

Subaru set up his still-feeble illusion and silently entered the Kuzuki household. He made sure that only Takeshi and himself were inside the illusion, then allowed Takeshi to see him. With a feeble apology, he killed the man and sent his soul to the Tree to feed upon. Then, he left the house, keeping the illusion up until he was safely out of sight.

Minutes later, he stood on the balcony outside his apartment. His arm was still coated in blood, but the sight and the smell no longer bothered him as much as it had the first few times Subaru had killed. He took out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag on it.

_I hate what I've become,_ he thought as he blew out smoke. _I'm a murderer. It doesn't matter if it's still to protect Japan. I've killed so many._

Subaru knew he couldn't just give up being the Sakurazukamori. The only way to get out of the job was to be killed and pass the position on to the one who killed him. He didn't think about what would happen if he were to commit suicide. Besides, at the rate he was going, he would die of malnutrition before he committed suicide.

_.:That's right, Subaru. Go eat something.:. _the Tree said. _.:You haven't eaten for days.:._

"I'm not hungry," Subaru muttered in response.

_.:You're worse than Seishirou. He ate. Never slept properly, but at least he would eat.:._

Subaru stared out over the city of Tokyo. He sighed and put out his cigarette. Then he went inside and headed into the bathroom. Peeling off his blood-soaked clothes, he got in the shower and turned the water on as hot as he could stand. For a while, he merely let the rushing water pummel his body, washing away the blood from his arm. He let his thoughts wander as the rhythms of the water hitting his body and the shower stall intertwined, creating an effect like that of a rhapsodic waterfall.

_Subaru slipped into the warm water. He closed his eyes and let his body relax. It felt good, to be able to stay home and loosen up for a while. It wasn't often that he got to relax, with his work schedule and all. It was a privilege that was to be savored. _

_The young Sumeragi didn't even notice when another person entered the bathroom. The black-clad figure entered in silence, making sure that none of his movements were audible. A predatory smirk crossed his lips at the sight of the Sumeragi. He undressed and slipped into the bath with Subaru, surprising the younger man as he wrapped his arms around the Sumeragi's thin waist._

_Subaru's eyes snapped open. "SEISHIROU-SAN!"_

_Sakurazuka Seishirou's mismatched eyes met Subaru's as the younger man turned to look at him. Subaru struggled against him, but when the older man's grip didn't loosen, he gave up. He half-way expected the Sakurazukamori to do unmentionable things to him, but was surprised when the only thing that happened was Seishirou taking the soap scrub and coat Subaru's body in suds._

Subaru put one hand against the wall to steady himself. The memory burned itself on the back of his eyelids, so that when he closed his eyes, he would see it. That simple act that Seishirou had made, getting into the bath with him, was one of the few gentle things that the older man had done. It had also been the last time the two of them had been together. Subaru had killed Seishirou the next day.

_(("Boku wa…kimi to…" Seishirou whispered with much effort.))_

Subaru shook his head. Though it had been a few months since Seishirou's death, the memory was still clear. It still pained him, though he knew that it was what Seishirou had wanted.

The young man finished washing and got out of the shower, pulling a towel around his waist. He went into his room and pulled out some clothes. Drying off and getting dressed, Subaru decided to go out. He always did find comfort in walking around at night.

* * *

Kakyou looked up at Seishirou. The man was standing in front of him, his eyes angry. The yumemi should have known. There was no way to prevent this. 

"I suppose you want to speak with Fuuma?" Kakyou asked, monotonously.

"Yes," Seishirou said. "I need to have a few words with him."

Kakyou nodded and brought Seishirou and himself into Fuuma's desolate dreamscape. Seishirou looked around. The place was all but empty. It felt as though everything from the dreamscape of Fuuma's previous persona had been sucked into a black hole and utterly destroyed.

"Well, you're a sight for sore eyes," a voice behind him said.

Seishirou spun around to face the Dark Kamui. The teenager stood about a foot away with a smirk on his face. Seishirou pulled his arm back and punched the younger man square in the jaw.

"What makes you think you're allowed to touch Subaru!" the former Sakurazukamori demanded.

Fuuma rubbed his jaw. "I didn't think that I wasn't," he said, re-adjusting his jaw. For a dead man, Seishirou could hit pretty damn hard. He caught the glare that his former Angel was giving him and decided to say something else. "For Christ's sake, Seishirou. Subaru is just full of frustration and it drives me crazy. Unless you haven't noticed, tension is not the easiest thing to deal with."

"That's unacceptable," Seishirou spat. "You and I talked about this. You are not to touch Subaru-kun. You've already left too many scars on him."

"And how many have you left on him?"

Seishirou didn't reply to that question. "Keep your hands off Subaru-kun. The next time you touch him, I won't hesitate to kill you."

Fuuma rolled his eyes. He wasn't worried about Seishirou killing him. After all, there was no way that the former Sakurazukamori could truly harm him. He was the Dark Kamui, and much stronger than Seishirou, despite his young age. Plus, Seishirou was dead; that was a plus of sorts.

"I've given you my warning," Seishirou said. With that, he signaled to Kakyou that he was going to leave.

Kakyou nodded and ended the dream.

* * *

Subaru woke up the next morning underneath the Tree. He reflected on last night. He remembered coming to the Tree around in the morning and sitting beneath it. Sleep must have finally gotten to him shortly after. 

The Sakurazukamori stretched and sat up. And found himself face-to-face with young Hashimoto Tsukasa. He blinked, and then saw Kuniko standing nearby. Subaru gave his old friend a soft smile. Kuniko gave him a kind wave then came over to him.

"How long have you been here, Subaru-san?" the young woman asked.

Subaru shrugged apathetically. "Since around three."

"Three this morning?"

Another shrug. "I guess."

"That's so dangerous! How can you be so careless!"

Subaru blinked. Kuniko looked at him with worried eyes. She kneeled down next to him and put her arms around his shoulders.

"You have to be careful, Subaru-san," Kuniko told the former Sumeragi. "It's too dangerous for people to be out alone anymore."

Subaru nodded, though he knew that he had no reason to worry about being attacked around the Tree. It would protect him, as he protected it. If anything harmful approached Subaru here, the Tree would take care of it. Subaru had its word.

"Promise me you won't do that again?"

Subaru nodded. Kuniko let out a small sigh of relief. She stood and offered Subaru a hand. Subaru blinked at her, and then took her hand.

"Come on," she said. "I'll buy some tea for you. There's a great place not far from here."

"Sure."

"Come on, Tsukasa," Kuniko told her son.

The boy smiled and came running over. He took his mother's hand as the three of them headed out of Ueno Park. Kuniko led the way to a tea house not far from the park, as she said. The three of them got a table and sat down, looking at the choices for the teas the teahouse served. After a few minutes, a young woman, obviously American, came up.

"Hello! I'm Liz, I'll be your waiter!" she smiled. (1) "Wonderful day for a family outing, isn't it?"

"We…actually aren't a family," Kuniko said, a bit embarrassed. "Su-Sumeragi-san and I are just old friends."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Liz said. "My bad. I'm always jumping to conclusions about these things. You just seemed to look so right together and…hey! Cool! You're eyes are two different colors!"

Subaru shrunk beneath the girl's happy attitude. "Aa…yes…they are…"

"That's so cool!" Liz beamed. Then she frowned. "Oh, sorry! I'm supposed to be taking your orders!"

"Oh, it's okay," Kuniko said. "Uh…I'll have the Imperial White (2) and some sliced mangos, please. Tsukasa, what do you want?"

"Almond cookies!" Tsukasa smiled.

_((Author's Note: Oh, gods, he's adorable. Pity he winds up as such a bastard. Everyone huggle him. You know you want to.))_

"I'll just have the Green Kukicha," Subaru said. (3)

The girl smiled and took their menus, heading to the back of the teahouse. Subaru cast his glance downwards. He felt uncomfortable at the present moment. The last time he had been at a teahouse was with Seishirou. It brought back too many memories for the former Sumeragi.

_(("May I join you for a cup of tea, Subaru-kun?"))_

Subaru shook his head to try to block out the memories. Liz came back with their orders and set them down in front of them. She then bounded over to another table to take orders. Subaru picked up his tea and took a sip of it. The hot liquid slid down his throat, warming his body.

"Subaru-san, would you like one?" Tsukasa asked, holding up one of the almond cookies he had ordered.

Subaru blinked at the cookie. He shook his head. "No, that's okay."

Tsukasa shrugged and popped the cookie into his mouth. He munched happily on the cookie, and then stole a sip of his mother's tea to wash it down.

_((Author's Note: That's it! He's just too cute!))_

"S-Subaru-san!" a young voice called.

Subaru whipped his head around to see Nekoi Yuzuriha come into the teahouse, accompanied by a heavy-built older man, whom he recognized as Shiyuu Kusanagi, one of his fellow Angels. Fuuma had pointed the man out once, saying that Kusanagi was "a worthless man" for not doing his duty as one of the Chi no Ryu. Yuzuriha came running over to the table Subaru, Kuniko, and Tsukasa sat at.

"Subaru-san!" Yuzuriha cried. "We've all been looking for you!"

"What makes you think I want you to find me?" Subaru asked, monotonously. "I'm no longer one of the Seven Seals. Therefore, I don't need to have anything to do with any of you."

Yuzuriha's eyes widened in a mix of pain and surprise. "But, Subaru-san! We need you!"

"No one needs me," the Sakurazukamori said. He stood up and turned to Kuniko. "I'm sorry, Hashimoto-san. But I need to leave." He pulled out some cash and handed it to Kuniko. "This should be enough to pay for everything."

Before Kuniko could protest, or before Yuzuriha could try to stop him, Subaru left the teahouse and headed home. He was not in the mood to talk to any of the Seals. Then again, it was rare he was in the mood to talk to anyone. Really, it seemed to him that people no longer mattered.

Then why did he talk to Kuniko?

He paused. It was a good question. And one that he didn't have an answer to. Was the reason he talked to her because she was a link to his past? Well, yes. In a way, she was. Kuniko had been his friend, over nine years ago. Before he had lost everything. And it appeared now that she still meant to be his friend.

_But why?_ he asked himself. _I'm not worth the time._

Subaru shook his head and continued home. When he got to his apartment, he went into the kitchen, fed Sei, and then took the kitten into the bedroom. He was tired and Sei was good company.

Subaru lay down on the bed. Sei purred and curled up next to her master. Subaru smiled softly and ran a hand over the kitten's back.

It was a while before Subaru got to sleep. He slept the rest of the day, into the night, and well into the morning. He deserved it.

_**

* * *

Author's Note: Ah, yes. The wonders of senior year. ((pause)) I hate it. Thank gods, it's almost over. **_

_(1): Yes, Lizzie is a happy person. Except when I give her angst fics such as this one. Then she cries and decides she hates me for a few minutes.  
__(2) and (3): Both taken from the Tao of Tea website ((www(dot)taooftea(dot)com))_

_Thanks to:  
__**Sapadu:** You're proud of me? Thanks!  
_**_Chris Pwure:_ **_Oh, trust me. Seishirou is not just jealous. He's pissed off at Fuuma and that was revealed, now wasn't it?  
_**_Haunted Quill:_ **_Oh, Kuniko-chan's a very important piece of this fic, isn't she? I'm still trying to figure out what I'm doing with her at the moment, but she's fun. And yes, the kitten, Sei, is just adorable!  
__**SuperSeme Fuuma:** I'm glad you liked it, despite having read it for me before I posted. Thanks again!  
__**Calasstria-Star:** Wow. I'm glad you like this fic so much! I'm actually surprised that so many people like it. I never expected it to be so loved.  
__**Lady-Willowish:** Huzzah for angst-queens! ((high-fives you)) Thanks for the review and there's still more to come! X3  
__**Eerie:** I got you hooked after only the fourth chapter? Yay! I have succeeded! ((does a happy dance))_


	8. Yaburu

_**Author's Note:** Sleep is so very over-rated, you know? Also, credit for the "stupid people" line goes to my cousin.  
**Warning: **Liz again. And a pathetic attempt at humor. Also, Fuuma again. And you all know what that means. Smut. Dirty, dirty smut. Oh, and a suicide attempt.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of these characters. And somehow, I think, if CLAMP had any idea what I was doing with their characters, they'd decapitate me and mount my head over the fireplace with Sorata's hat in my mouth, Seishirou's sunglasses on my face, chewed gum on my nose, and a can of beer balancing on my head. Oh, and my right hand would be mounted next to my head with my fingers positioned into a "peace" sign._

Part Eight: Yaburu

A week after the incident at the teahouse, Subaru was sitting in his bedroom, going over the faxes he received. Even though Tokyo was such a mess, the government still had to run and therefore, the Sakurazukamori still received jobs. The numerous faxes from the past few days were scattered around Subaru as he sat cross-legged on the bed. Sei napped quietly in her favourite corner of the windowsill.

"This man has committed several acts of embezzlement_," _Subaru read."Please dispose of him."He turned to another fax, his mind switching to a sarcastic mode."I dislike this guy because he hit on my wife. Please murder him."Another fax; more sarcasm. "I have nothing against this guy; I just want you to kill him. I'll pay extra."

Subaru looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was almost nine o'clock. Tossing the faxes aside, he flopped back onto the mattress. He covered his face with one arm and sighed heavily. Really, he was getting sick of this. How did Seishirou deal with so many idiots wanting to get each other killed?

_Some people are stupid,_ Subaru thought to himself._ Stupid people piss off other people. Other people hire assassins to kill stupid people. I get paid. Wonderful._

He was about to drift off to sleep when he heard the door to the apartment open. It had to be Fuuma again. The younger man probably wanted him to go destroy a kekkai or something. After all, Subaru hadn't destroyed one in a couple of weeks. Getting up, the Sakurazukamori headed into the living room. As he suspected, Fuuma stood there, dressed in tight black jeans and a loose black shirt. The shirt was torn in a couple places and so were the jeans. Blood covered spots on the younger man's body and there was a cut on Fuuma's left cheek.

"What do you want?" Subaru asked.

"Kamui didn't want to play," Fuuma replied. "You'll have to do. I can feel your Wish from all the way across town."

"Oh?" came Subaru's apathetic response.

"Yeah. You need to get laid."

"You just want to get into my pants again, don't you?"

"Well, when you put it that way…" Fuuma grinned.

"Get the hell out of here," Subaru said, turning away.

Before he could move further, Subaru felt Fuuma shove him. The Sakurazukamori fell onto the couch and Fuuma quickly straddled him. The amber-eyed teen pinned Subaru's arms above his head and kissed him deeply. Subaru didn't fight back. At least, not yet. He'd wait until Fuuma was least expecting it, and then throw the Dark Kamui off of him.

Fuuma kept Subaru's hands over his head as he called upon his telekinesis. Carefully controlling his power, he ripped the older man's shirt into ribbons. Scraps of fabric fell to the floor as Subaru struggled to get away from Fuuma. But the Dark Kamui was stronger than he was and his efforts were fruitless.

* * *

It had been a long day. The teahouse had been unusually busy, even for a city that was all but evacuated. Liz trudged up the stairs to the floor where the apartment she shared with her roommates, Koichi and Ame, was. She was extremely tired, so she didn't think about it when she found the apartment door unlocked. It wasn't until she reached the living room that the young American woman found out that she had walked into the wrong apartment. 

"Aaaauuugghhhhh!" she screamed, seeing the two men on the couch, with one straddling the other. She covered her eyes. "Oh, my god! I'm so sorry! Wrong apartment! Augh!"

She rushed out of the apartment, grabbing her shoes on the way out. Fuuma blinked as the girl tripped over apparently nothing and flew out the apartment door. He stared at the open door for a moment before a squeal came from next door and a different girl came in, carrying a camera in hand. The blue-haired girl snapped a couple of photos and then simply…disappeared. She hadn't left the apartment, she just, for lack of better term, bwinked away.

Fuuma blinked once again then turned his attention back to Subaru. The older man was breathing heavily, tired from his struggles, but far from giving up. He flailed and fought as Fuuma dragged him over to the bedroom. The Dark Kamui opened the door and rolled his eyes as Sei hissed at him and ran out of the room. Shutting the door, Fuuma threw Subaru onto the bed.

"Get out!" Subaru shouted, momentarily free. "Get out, now!"

Fuuma, instead, walked over to Subaru and pinned him to the mattress. Subaru screamed at him and fought once more to get the Dark Kamui off of him. However, the teen pulled out a pair of handcuffs and clicked one around Subaru's left wrist. Then he weaved the cuffs around the wooden headrest of the bed and cuffed Subaru's other wrist.

The older man struggled to get free of the handcuffs but to no avail. The cuffs would not come loose in the slightest. Subaru let out a gasp as he felt the Dark Kamui's tongue lap at his nipple. His body defied him and shook as Fuuma traced little patterns over his skin with his tongue. A moan escaped his lips as he felt his defenses weaken.

_(("Subaru-kun…Just be a little more careful around Fuuma…"))_

"No!" Subaru cried out, suddenly. "Get off me!"

Fuuma ignored Subaru's pleas and continued to do as he wished. Subaru screamed at him and fought the handcuffs that kept him bound to the bed, succeeding in nothing but hurting his wrists as the metal cut into his skin. He winced in pain but kept struggling.

"Now, now, Subaru-kun," Fuuma purred. "Keep fighting like that and you'll hurt yourself even more."

"I don't care!" Subaru shouted. "Get away from me!"

"Don't be like that," Fuuma told him. "You know you like what I do."

He unbuttoned Subaru's pants, relishing in the older man's protests. He quickly removed the pants and boxers from Subaru's body. His fingers immediately went to work, running up and down the older man's body.

"Nnnn…NO! STOP IT!" Subaru shouted.

Fuuma chuckled darkly. His amber eyes gleamed. He stood and stripped down. He watched Subaru fight to free himself from the handcuffs to no avail. The Sakurazukamori's wrists were beginning to turn red and it wouldn't be long before Subaru began to bleed.

"I'll make this quick, shall I?" Fuuma asked. "I wouldn't want to prolong your suffering."

"Sure you would, you sadistic little prick!" Subaru spat as Fuuma crawled on top of him.

"Ooh, just for that, we'll add twenty minutes to your sentence."

"Bastard."

"Make that thirty," Fuuma grinned.

He pressed his hips close to Subaru's, so that their erections touched. Subaru choked and tried to knock the Dark Kamui off of him. Fuuma remained on top of him and was growing annoyed with Subaru.

"Look, we can do this the easy way and you can give in," he told the older man. "Or you can continue to fight me and get raped. Which would you prefer?"

"Neither! Get off of me!"

"Tsk, tsk, Subaru-kun."

Fuuma did get up, however. He went over to the closet and opened it. What he was presented with was exactly what he was expecting.

"Ah, you do keep some of Seishirou's clothes," he said. "I was so hoping you did. The man had great taste."

He rummaged in the closet for a moment while Subaru tried to think of a way out of the situation. By the time Fuuma came back with one of Seishirou's ties in hand, Subaru had given up thinking and gone back to yelling at the younger man. Fuuma ignored Subaru's shouts to get away from him, leave the apartment, and get lost. He lay back on top of the Sakurazukamori and quickly, but efficiently, gagged him with his predecessor's tie. Subaru's now muffled cries still continued, but Fuuma could ignore them more easily.

"Now," he said. "How shall we start this?"

Smirking, the Dark Kamui leaned down and gently nipped at Subaru's neck. At the touch, Subaru screamed, but tilted his head back to give the younger man more access. It was purely instinct; Subaru wanted nothing more but for Fuuma to leave him alone, but his body defied him.

Fuuma chuckled darkly and moved on, nipping various spots on Subaru's chest; sometimes sucking on those spots hard enough to leave a mark. Subaru cried out into the makeshift gag each time and jerked his body with every short shock of pain. Tears were beginning to well up in his eyes. The Dark Kamui saw this and licked the tears away, tasting their bitter-sweetness.

"You act as though you don't enjoy this, Subaru-kun," Fuuma said.

_Stop it… _Subaru thought. He couldn't shout at Fuuma anymore; his thoughts were all he had._ Don't call me that…_

Continuing with his work, Fuuma brushed his hand across Subaru's lower abdomen and down to the older man's erection. He wrapped his fingers around Subaru and pulsed. Subaru let out a scream into the gag. He thrashed against his bindings, wincing as the metal cut into his skin and made him bleed.

_Stop it! _Subaru's mind shrieked. _Don't!_

Fuuma pulsed again and again. Subaru fought to keep his body from reacting to the touch he didn't want. All attempts to keep his self-control failed, however. His back arched and his hips rose into Fuuma's touch. Tears fell from Subaru's eyes. He wanted Fuuma to stop, but his body wanted the Dark Kamui to continue. He longed for the younger man to abandon his current task; his body wanted the pain of what Fuuma was doing.

_Stop…stop…please!_ Subaru's mind pleaded.

As though he knew what Subaru was thinking, the Dark Kamui continued to torture him. His hands stopped and instead, his mouth found Subaru's erection. He sucked gently on the very tip and grinned, hearing the scream that came from Subaru's mouth through the makeshift gag. Fuuma continued to play with Subaru for a while, bringing the older man to the edge and back down.

It was time to move on, now. Fuuma sat up and reached into the drawer of the bedside table. He rummaged around, glad to find that Subaru hadn't cleaned it out at all, and found the tube of lubricant that he knew Seishirou kept. He unscrewed the top and applied the lubricant to his erection. Then, he positioned himself above Subaru, spreading the older man's legs. Without preparing Subaru in the slightest, Fuuma slammed into him.

Eyes wide with pain, Subaru screamed at the top of his lungs into the tie in his mouth. His entire body jerked violently, the pain almost too much to bear. His wrists were bleeding openly now, pain filled him from the invasion of his body, and his throat was becoming raw from screaming. His nerves were on fire; his body was in such painful ecstasy.

Fuuma pulled out of Subaru momentarily then shoved back inside. He repeated this action, building up the tension. He was ruthless. He could feel Subaru weakening beneath him. The older man's screams were becoming fewer, his tears overcoming him. Fuuma savored the reactions he was receiving from his cruel sexual doings.

For what seemed like forever to Subaru, Fuuma continued thrusting in and pulling out of Subaru's body. Finally, Subaru felt himself orgasm, choking as he did so. He was openly crying by this time. Fuuma came inside him one last time, spilling his essence into the older man's body. He pulled out and stood up. Silently, he went into the bathroom, washed himself off with a damp towel and came back out.

Looking at Subaru as the older man cried, Fuuma dressed and pulled out the key to the handcuffs that bound Subaru to the bed. He released Subaru, took the gag from his mouth, and covered him with one of the blankets that had fallen off the bed during their activity. Subaru clutched the blanket close. He didn't watch as the Dark Kamui left, but knew that the younger man had gone, as he heard the front door of the apartment slam shut.

Subaru lay on the bed, damp from the sweat and cum that covered him. He knew that he was bleeding from Fuuma's intrusion. The pain was still immense. He kept crying, knowing that it did nothing for him. It took several minutes for him to calm his sobs. Once he stopped crying, he just lay there, staring at the wall for a long time.

Even though his tears had ceased, he couldn't stop shaking. His body was still sore from the rough sex, his wrists were bruised and raw, and his breath was ragged. Grabbing a pair of flannel pants, Subaru went into the bathroom that was connected to his bedroom. He quickly pulled on the pants and then ran cold water, splashing it on his face.

A few moments later, Subaru turned the water off and looked at himself in the mirror. The reflection that stared back at him startled him. He could hardly believe that this gaunt and forlorn facsimile of a human being was what he had become.

His eyes, one gold and the other a dull grey-green, were slightly drooped, due to lack of sleep. Having not eaten properly for a long while, his ribs and cheekbones were showing. The pants he wore, which had fit snuggly a little over a month ago, were barely clinging to his hips.

It was horrible to look at himself.

_I've gone so far downhill; it's impossible to pull myself back up,_ Subaru thought.

He had sunk low. Even after Seishirou had told Subaru to be careful around the Dark Kamui, Subaru had let his guard drop and wound up having sex with Fuuma. Hokuto, Seishirou, Kuniko and the Tree had told him to take care of himself; he hadn't eaten in three days. He hadn't been sleeping much lately, either.

He was constantly miserable. Every night, he longed to be with Seishirou, but the older man was no longer visiting the few dreams he had. What little sleep he did get was so fitful, it was hardly worth it; he never felt refreshed after sleeping. His days were full of long periods of nothing and he found himself, for reasons beyond him, looking forward to fulfilling the government request killings that flooded him.

Subaru's life had become nothing more than a sham.

Not even his own family now recognized him. His grandmother had gotten wind of his succession as the Sakurazukamori and had disowned him, finding one of his distant cousins to become the next clan master in his stead. She wouldn't even talk to him anymore. And if she wouldn't, no one else in the family would; she was still a powerful authority figure in the family.

Subaru was alone. With everyone he cared about either gone or pretending he didn't exist, he had no one. He couldn't go back to the Seals. He had nothing to protect, and therefore, could not erect a kekkai. And even if he did go back to the Seals, he didn't think they would accept him anymore; he had destroyed kekkai, when he should have been protecting them. He had accepted the powers of the Sakurazukamori and was no longer the person he once was.

No. None of the Seals would want him back now.

Subaru left the bathroom. He was still shaking, but not as hard as before. Hoping that some tea would calm him down, he went into the kitchen. Carefully, he pulled down a mug and put some tealeaves into it. He put a kettle of water onto the stove and turned the stove on. As he waited for the water to boil, Subaru closed his eyes and let his thoughts drift again.

The thoughts that came to him now were no different than the ones before. All of his thoughts were of a bleak future where his daily schedule would be to wake up, poke at food that he'd eventually throw away, mope, have sex with Fuuma, mope some more, go out and kill someone to feed the Tree, come home, mope and get less than two hours of dreamless, fitful sleep. And as he thought of this future, Subaru decided that, if this was how his life was going to be, it wasn't worth it.

Subaru spotted a hobby knife lying on the counter. He had used it earlier to open a box he had received in the mail that contained a set of black tea cups with painted sakura branches on them. A letter had accompanied the package, apologizing to Seishirou for the late delivery of the cups. Apparently, Seishirou had ordered them before he died and they were only just sent. Subaru picked up the knife and extended the blade.

* * *

Hashimoto Kuniko was sitting in her living room, reading a magazine, when her phone rang. Suspecting that it was her ex-husband, Hiroto, calling to explain why he was so late bringing Tsukasa home, she stood and went over to the kitchen to answer the phone. 

"Hashimoto desu."

There was a gasping on the other end of the line.

"Who is this?" Kuniko asked.

"Please…" a male voice begged. "I'm…sorry…I don't want to die…"

"What? Who is this?"

"I'm sorry…Hokuto-chan…"

"Ho...Subaru-san!" Kuniko exclaimed.

"Help me…" Subaru begged. "There's blood…Oh my god…it hurts…"

"Subaru-san! Are…are you at home?"

"Seishirou-san…I'm sorry…I just…"

There was a thud on the other line. Subaru said nothing more. He hadn't hung up; Kuniko could still hear him breathing.

"Subaru-san? Subaru-san!"

Worried now, Kuniko hung up the phone and rushed out of her apartment, grabbing her shoes and jacket on her way out. She ran outside, barefoot, and hailed a taxi. One came up and she got in, reciting the address that Subaru had given her shortly after they met again, as she pulled on her shoes.

"Hurry, please!" Kuniko told the driver.

It didn't take too long to get to the apartment building; it was barely six city blocks away. Kuniko handed the driver a few bills, knowing that she had over-paid, but not particularly caring. She ran up the stairs of the building and hurried up to Subaru's apartment.

The door was unlocked. Kuniko opened it and was immediately met by a black kitten, probably no more that eight or nine months old. The cat leapt into her arms and mewled at her with urgency.

"Where is he?" Kuniko asked. "Where's Subaru-san!"

The kitten jumped down from Kuniko's arms and ran into the kitchen. Kuniko followed and found Subaru collapsed on the floor. He clutched a bloodstained towel to his left arm. His breath was hard and his eyes were closed. The phone lay on the floor next to him.

"Subaru-san!" Kuniko cried.

She kneeled down next to her friend. Subaru was muttering something.

"Sei…shirou…san…I just…want to be…with you…"

"Oh, god!" Kuniko exclaimed. She grabbed the phone and dialed.

"Emergency assistance," a voice said.

"I need an ambulance! He tried to kill himself! There's a lot of blood!"

"Where are you, ma'am?"

Kuniko once again recited Subaru's address. A few minutes later, she could hear sirens approaching.

_**

* * *

Author's Note:** Don't any of you worry. Subaru will be fine. I won't let him die; I'm not that nice._

_**Kakyou-luverx: **-blinks at first line of review- Well, I'm glad I got Fuuma across as a manwhore. It was my intention. You have no clue just how depressing this fic is going to be. Just plotting it out makes me depressed, yet everyone loves it? I must be a masochist.  
**Hiruka-chan:** Oh? There are others who have put Hashimoto-chan in a fic? I must read it. She's my favourite minor character in Tokyo Babylon. Thanks for the review!  
**Tanuki-dono:** Wai! Wai! Imouto reviewed this fic! Yeah, I know it's a sad fic, and to be honest, it's only going to get worse. I loved making Seishirou threaten Fuuma, but really, once a guy is dead, he can't really affect the living, so…Fuuma doesn't really care. And Seishirou is trying to kill me for this fic. Really.  
**Subaru's Voice:** Yes, the RP seems to be popping up everywhere in my fics, doesn't it? I'm running out of material…T.T Hey, rhyming is fun. I just suck at it.  
**And Sometimes:** Whee! My first review for this fic from Sometimes-chan! –glomp-Yes, it is fun making Subaru suffer. Sorta. Eventually, I'll feel guilty, but for now… -cackles maniacally- he's going to be angsting and angsting and OMFG! angsting more. Thank you so much for the review! You're very kind!  
**Chris Pwure:** It's okay, my friend. I was wondering what happened to you, but I'm glad you did get the chance to R&R this. And I'm sorry that this update took me so long._


	9. Yakusoku

_**Author's Note: **Yes, yes, yes. I realize that I'm a cruel, cruel person for what I did to Subaru last chapter. You are all free to come kill me if you wish. I'll even give you my address. 613 Mt Shasta Dri—OMFG! I SMELL CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!  
**Warnings: **A bit of angst, the Tree, and a touch of Bitter!Subaru. Voila, we have part nine of Ces Larmes Je Pleure. Huzzah.  
**Disclaimer:** -Author is too busy listening to her new Rasmus CD to give a damn about writing a bloody disclaimer- Oh…wow. Lauri has incredibly sexy eyes._

Part Nine: Yakusoku

Kuniko waited outside the hospital room. Her hands were shaking. She could still see Subaru's blood-covered arm and his pale white face on the back of her eyelids. Her mind was filled with Subaru's heavy breath and she couldn't get the fear of losing her friend to go away. The words of the medical assistants in the ambulance ran through her head.

_(("He's lost a lot of blood," one of the assistants said. "I don't know if he'll make it."))_

Holding her hands together, Kuniko prayed that Subaru did make it through. She didn't want to lose her friend. They hadn't seen each other in several years, but Kuniko felt that their friendship had remained over the years. She had grown stronger because of him; because of the help he had given her in her time of need. Now she felt that she had to be there for Subaru in his time of need.

Kuniko raised her head as the door to Subaru's room opened. One of the doctors came out. Kuniko stood to meet him. The doctor put one hand on her shoulder.

"We've stitched up the wound and wrapped it," he told her. "There's an IV replacing the blood he's lost. There's a good chance that he'll make it. It's a good thing we got to him in time."

"May I please go in and see him?" Kuniko asked.

"Well…visiting hours are over, but I suppose I could let you."

"Thank you!"

"One thing, though," the doctor said. "His wrists were cut up pretty badly as well and there're signs that he may have been raped. Do you know anything about what might have happened?"

"No," Kuniko replied, shaking her head. "He called me at my home, saying he didn't want to die. And he kept apologizing."

"For what?"

"I don't know. The ones he was apologizing to have died."

"Hmm…" the doctor mused. "Well. We'll be checking on him every now and then."

"Thank you, sensei," Kuniko said. She bowed to the doctor, then turned and opened the door to Subaru's room.

It was very late. The sky outside was dark and the only light in the room was a small dim lamp on a table in the corner of the room. The room was very blank, with only a single painting of a hydrangea plant on one wall. Kuniko approached Subaru's bed and sat down in the chair next to the bed. She looked at her friend. He looked even paler than he had in the ambulance. His eyes were closed and his breath was steady.

_They must have sedated him quite heavily, _Kuniko thought. _He was so panicked when he called._

She wondered what would have pushed Subaru so far as to make him attempt suicide. She knew so little about this Subaru. Things had changed so much since they met over nine years ago. She had grown strong, married, and gave birth to her son. Subaru, on the other hand…she had no clue what he might have gone through. Yes, he had told her that his sister had died and that the person special to him had also died, just recently at that.

"Oh, Subaru-san," Kuniko sighed. "I wish I could help you. But you need to let me know what you're going through."

* * *

Hokuto and Seishirou were watching over Subaru in the small pond that allowed them to see into the living world. Hokuto had sensed when Subaru had cut his arm open. She had run directly to the pond, with Seishirou right behind her. As they watched him, Subaru pressed a towel to his heavily bleeding arm, called someone, and muttered a few almost incoherent sentences before he collapsed. Seishirou looked shocked and worried. Hokuto was absolutely appalled and furious. 

"What was he thinking!" she shrieked. "Trying to commit suicide! Why I oughta--!"

"Calm down, Hokuto-chan," Seishirou told her.

"Calm down! CALM DOWN!" Hokuto shouted. "MY LITTLE BROTHER JUST TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN!"

"He must have had a reason to do this," Seishirou said.

"Oh, when I get my hands on him!" Hokuto threatened.

Seishirou thought for a moment. Then, he stood up and headed off. Hokuto watched him, confused for a moment.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To see Kakyou."

Hokuto blinked. She slammed her fist into her hand. "Of course! He can get us into Subaru's dreams. He is asleep right now. We can ask him what happened, if he's okay, and—"

"Hokuto, please, be quiet."

Hokuto blinked at Seishirou and closed her mouth. It was obvious that Seishirou was quite worried about Subaru and didn't need her running her mouth at the moment. The two of them entered Kakyou's Dreamscape and began to search for the yumemi.

* * *

Subaru sat in his desolate Dream. He was dressed in a long robe and his left arm was covered by a bandage. He looked as he did in the real world; pale, malnourished, and downright depressed. He was huddled in the corner of his Dreamscape, knees drawn up to his chest, with his arms resting on them. His head was down, but one could still see the bloody tears that ran down his face. 

"Subaru-kun?"

Subaru twitched, but refused to look up. Footsteps sounded as Seishirou approached the younger man. The former Sakurazukamori kneeled next to his successor and put a hand on his shoulder. Subaru flinched away from Seishirou's touch. Confused, Seishirou moved his hand away.

"Subaru-kun?" he asked. "Look at me."

"No…" Subaru said. "I can't…I can't…"

"Is it because you tried to kill yourself?"

Subaru shook his head. "No…

"Something happened to you," Seishirou said. "Something made you try to kill yourself."

Subaru remained silent. Seishirou put his arms around Subaru's shoulders and pulled him close. The younger man shivered, as if he was afraid of Seishirou's touch.

"What happened, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou asked, refusing to let go of the younger man. "Don't be afraid to tell me."

"I…can't…"

"It was Fuuma again, wasn't it?"

Subaru was silent, but slowly nodded his head. His right hand reached up and held onto Seishirou's jacket. Seishirou noticed the dark ring around Subaru's wrist and held onto Subaru's hand.

"What did he do to you?" he asked, his voice completely calm.

Subaru, still not raising his head, muttered something under his breath. Seishirou slipped one hand under Subaru's chin and forced him to look up. Seishirou saw the blood that ran down from the younger man's eyes like crimson tears.

"Subaru-kun, tell me what he did to you."

Hesitantly, Subaru told Seishirou what happened. The older man listened, nodding solemnly. Subaru lowered his head when he finished talking, afraid to look into Seishirou's eyes.

"Are…are you mad, Seishirou-san?" he asked. "What I didn't do as you said?"

"No, Subaru-kun," Seishirou told him. "It wasn't your fault." He kissed the top of Subaru's head. "You fought. That's all you needed to do."

Subaru held onto the older man. Seishirou lifted his lover's head once again and wiped the bloody tears from Subaru's face. Subaru sniffled.

"I'm sorry, Seishirou-san," he said.

"Don't. You weren't at fault," Seishirou told him.

Subaru shook his head. "Not about that." He lifted his bandaged left arm. "For this. I…I just…"

"Wanted to be with me."

"You heard?" Subaru blinked.

Seishirou nodded. "Hokuto-chan and I watched from the time you cut your arm."

"Hokuto…is she mad?"

"She's livid. That's why I didn't let her come."

Subaru let out a choked half-laugh. He leaned into Seishirou's arms, resting his head on the older man's chest. He felt Seishirou's hold on him tighten slightly, protectively.

"Seishirou-san?" Subaru whispered.

"Yes, Subaru-kun?"

"Will you stay with me for a while? Like you used to?"

Seishirou gave the younger man a soft smile. "If it's what you want."

* * *

Imonoyama Nokoru had been searching the records of the remaining hospitals in Tokyo for the last week. One of the Seven Seals had recently disappeared in one of the earthquakes. Nokoru had been looking for any signs that Kishuu Arashi had been admitted into one of the hospitals that still stood. 

Today, as he searched, he found something in one of the records that caught him by surprise:

_Room: 416  
Patient: Sumeragi Subaru  
Slashed tendon in left arm; malnourishment; sights of possible rape._

Immediately, Nokoru called for Kamui and the other Seals to come into his office. Even though Kamui, Yuzuriha, and Sorata were supposed to be in class at the moment, it didn't take long for them to come. When Nokoru called you, you didn't dally.

"Did you find Arashi?" Sorata asked as soon as he came in.

"No," Nokoru told him. "But, I did find Subaru-san."

"Wha--!" Kamui burst. "You found Subaru!"

"Yes, but it seems our friend has been having a rough time."

Kamui, Yuzuriha, and Sorata gathered around Nokoru's findings.

"He's been raped!" Yuzuriha gasped.

"Well, the records are still rather new," Nokoru told them. He pointed to the bottom of the record, where it showed the admittance date. "You see? He was admitted just last night."

"Which hospital is this?" Kamui asked. "I'm going to go see him."

"Oh, Kamui," Yuzuriha said. "When I saw him last week, he said he didn't want to see any of us, remember?"

"I don't care. I have to go see him."

Nokoru showed Kamui where to go, giving him permission to leave campus. Kamui headed out, with Yuzuriha and Sorata right behind him

"We'll go with you," Sorata said.

The three of them headed off CLAMP campus. Once safely out of view of any person who might be around, they jumped into the air and leapt across building tops until they reached the hospital near Ueno Park, where Subaru had been admitted. They landed in an alley near the hospital and walked out of it, up the stairs of the hospital and right to the information desk.

"Excuse me," Kamui said to the woman behind the counter. "We're looking for Sumeragi Subaru."

"Are you family?" the woman asked. "We've been trying to contact his family, but they won't talk to us."

"Uh…yes, we're family," Kamui lied.

"Oh, good. I'll have the doctor talk to you three. Sumeragi-san in on the fourth floor. Take the elevator and take an immediate right. It should be the fourth door on the left."

"Thank you," Kamui said. He headed towards the elevator. Yuzuriha and Sorata followed.

"Why did you tell her that we were his family?" Sorata asked. "That's a lie!"

"Well, if his family isn't talking about him," Kamui told him, "they've probably found out about his new position and disowned him."

"The Twelfth Head is a bit of a strict woman," Sorata said. "I heard a lot about her from the Stargazer. He knew a lot about the Sumeragi Clan. They've been practically at war with the Sakurazukamori for years. The Twelfth Head's son was killed by the Sakurazukamori, as well as her grand-daughter. And look what the previous Sakurazukamori did to Subaru."

"Poor Subaru-san…" Yuzuriha sighed.

The three of them arrived on the fourth floor and headed to room 416, where Subaru was. They had just reached it when a woman with long hair tied back in a braid came out. Her eyes were sad and her face had a faint scar down from her left eye. She looked up at them and recognized Yuzuriha.

"Oh, you're some of Subaru-san's friends, aren't you?" she asked.

"Yes," Yuzuriha said. "We came to see him."

"Oh. Well, he just told me that he wanted to left alone for a while," the woman said. "Why don't we go down to the cafeteria and visit him afterwards? My treat."

Kamui nodded. The woman gave him a soft smile. She led the three of them back downstairs to the cafeteria on the first floor.

"My name is Hashimoto Kuniko," she told them as they walked through the halls.

"It's nice to meet you, Kuniko-san," Yuzuriha said. "I'm Nekoi Yuzuriha, an eighth-grader at CLAMP Academy!"

Sorata introduced himself next. "My name is Arisugawa Sorata. I'm a junior at the CLAMP High School."

Kamui looked at Kuniko. "I'm Shirou Kamui."

"I have to guess that you attend CLAMP as well, then?' Kuniko asked.

Kamui blinked. "I'm a sophomore in the high school."

"How do the three of you know Subaru-san?"

"He attended the college at CLAMP before he disappeared from campus," Sorata explained, not about to confuse Kuniko with the whole End-of-the-World business. "We'd always see him on campus and he lived in the dorm next to us."

"Oh," Kuniko said. "That's something we have in common, then. Subaru-san and I used to have classes together at the MS Research Institute."

"MS Research Institute?" Yuzuriha asked.

"It's since shut down. The lead teacher there died suddenly. I remember it so well. It was on the same day I received this." Kuniko indicated the scar on her face. "Subaru-san was always so nice to me. A change from the girls I used to go to school with. I was always bullied and when I came to MS, I thought it would be best for me to avoid everyone. But Subaru-san…he was different. Kind and smiling…"

She let out a soft sigh. "He's since changed, though…"

"Kuniko-san?" Yuzuriha asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. I just…I wish I knew what happened to hurt Subaru-san so badly. I haven't seen him smile at all. Not once since I ran into him that day."

"Things have been hard for him," Kamui said, his eyes sad. "He's been through so much."

Kuniko looked at Kamui. "You're a lot like him, you know."

Kamui blinked up at her. "Huh?"

"You have the same eyes; ones that have seen pain that nobody else can even begin to imagine."

Kamui remembered the scenes he had seen in the last several months. The deaths that plagued his pasts were inscribed in his mind for the rest of his life. There was no way he would ever forget watching his aunt give birth to the second Shinken, the death of Kotori by her brother's hands, Daisuke's death at Fuuma's hands, or even the death of the Sakurazukamori. The pain that he had felt and seen at these deaths was immense and would stay with him.

"Yes," he said softly. "The both of us have seen so much pain."

It was true. Subaru had seen the death of his twin sister in dreams for several years and the death of the man he had loved had hurt him deeply as well. Kamui suspected what hurt Subaru the most was that Seishirou's death had been by his hand. When Kamui and Arashi had arrived at the bridge, it had been too late. The pain of Seishirou's death would haunt Subaru forever.

* * *

Subaru lay awake in the hospital bed. He had awoken to Kuniko's face a little more than an hour ago, after being comforted in his dreams by Seishirou and then chewed out by Hokuto in another dream. Carefully, he propped himself on the pillows and stared out the window of his room. Kuniko had opened it for him earlier and now a soft breeze came in through it. Subaru sighed. He could hardly remember what had happened after he sliced his arm open with the hobby knife. He could remember pain, blood, and panic. Kuniko had told him that he had called her at her home and she had run straight to his apartment to find him collapsed on the kitchen floor. 

"I'm sorry," Subaru had told her. "I…was too upset…I couldn't stand it anymore…"

"It's okay, Subaru-san," Kuniko had said. She had taken his hand and given him a soft smile. "Just do me a favor…promise me that I won't have to lose my friend."

Subaru looked down at his bandaged arm. He had promised Kuniko that he wouldn't do something as stupid as slicing his arm again. Placing his good hand over the bandage, Subaru closed his eyes. When he opened them again, the Tree sat on the chair next to him. He started at the sudden appearance.

"Would you _please_ warn me when you do that!" Subaru said, trying to calm his speeding heart.

The Tree looked at him seriously. "Would you _please_ warn me when you decide to attempt to kill yourself?"

Subaru blinked at the Tree. "Oh. I'm sorry. I…"

"Wasn't thinking," the Tree asked. "Were you?"

"I…um…no, not really. It was…kind of on impulse."

"You're reckless, Subaru. Just like he was. I don't know how the two of you managed to keep from accidentally getting yourselves killed in your childhoods."

"I…"

"At least he knew what would happen after his death; you don't," the Tree told Subaru sternly. "You almost upset the balance of Japan."

"I'm sorry," Subaru said. "It was a stupid thing to try."

"I know you're going through a rough time, but that doesn't mean you have to be an idiot."

Subaru looked down at his lap. The Tree watched him for a while. Then it spoke up.

"Do me a favor," it told him. "Promise me you won't do something that stupid again. And if you do, be sure to know what you'll be doing by killing yourself."

"I promise," Subaru said, quietly.

"Good. Now, I'm going to leave you for a while, because Kamui and a couple of the other Seals are here to see you."

Subaru groaned.

"Oh, grow up," the Tree said. "They care about you, so get used to them. And by the way, I expect a good meal when they release you. Seeing as I'll be starving for a while."

With that, the Tree stood and headed out of the room. Kamui, Yuzuriha, and Sorata looked at it as it stepped out the door. The Tree bowed to the three of them.

"If he ignores you, I'll smack him for it later," it told them.

Kamui and Sorata blinked. Yuzuriha tilted her head in confusion. The Tree smiled and walked away, down the corridor and out of sight. The three Seals exchanged glances and then entered the hospital room. Subaru was looking out the window, refusing to meet eyes with any of them.

"Subaru, are you okay?" Kamui asked, immediately.

"Do I look okay?" Subaru snapped, gesturing to the bandage and IV.

"S-sorry," Kamui whimpered.

"Why did you guys come here?"

"We've been worried about you, Subaru-san!" Yuzuriha said. "When Nokoru-sama told us that he'd found you and why you were in here…"

"You guys are wasting your time with me," Subaru said. "I can't help you anymore."

"That doesn't mean we don't want you around!" Kamui told him. "You're still our friend, Subaru!"

Subaru glared at the boy. "What if I don't want to associate with anyone anymore?"

"You associate with Kuniko-san!" Kamui said, nearly yelling. "Why her and not us!"

"Kamui, calm down," Sorata said. "We're in a hospital. Subaru, why wouldn't you want to stay friends with us? What would make you think that we're wasting our time on you?"

"I'm not who I was, Arisugawa-kun," Subaru told him bitterly.

"Bullshit," Kamui spat. "You haven't changed, except that your bastard-ness level has shot through the roof."

"If you can't handle it, then get out," Subaru retorted.

"Subaru-san, please," Yuzuriha said, timidly. "We just want to help."

"I don't need help."

"Yeah, right," Kamui muttered cynically. "That's why you let yourself get raped and slashed your arm open. That's a cry for help if I ever saw one."

"What happened to me is none of your business," Subaru said.

"Oh, re—"

Sorata cut Kamui off, putting his arm in front of the younger teen. "If that's what you think, then we'll be going."

"But Sorata…!" Yuzuriha began.

"The invitation is open, Subaru," Sorata continued. "If you ever decide to try to be civil and come back to us, you'll be welcomed. Good day."

With that said, Sorata grabbed Kamui's arm and began to drag him out the room. Yuzuriha stayed back for a moment to apologize to Subaru before running to catch up with her fellow Seals, shutting the door behind her.

Subaru stared at the door for a moment. Then, decided that he had done the right thing by driving the Seals away, he lay back on the pillows. The Seals didn't need him. He would only be dragging them down if he ever went back to them. Sighing, he turned to look out the window. He blinked.

Kishuu Arashi was standing on the branch of the tree that stood right outside his window. The priestess of the Ise shrine jumped over and came in through the window. Her stormy grey eyes looked as sad as Subaru felt. She stepped over to Subaru's side, but did not sit down.

"/Kamui/ sent me," Arashi said quietly.

"I've already told him—"

"No, not that Kamui. The Kamui of the Dragons of Earth."

Subaru blinked. Why was Arashi correlating with Fuuma? The last time Subaru had checked, she was still one of the Dragons of Heaven. From the way the girl was speaking, it sounded as if she, like himself, had switched sides.

"He said we could probably relate," Arashi said, her voice still cold and quiet. "He also told me where you were."

Subaru looked at her, not saying anything.

"Subaru-san…"

"So, you're also a Dragon of Earth now?" Subaru asked.

Arashi blinked at him, then lowered her head. "Yes. I came to /Kamui/ a little over a week ago. I could no longer help the Seals, so he allowed me to come over to help his side."

Subaru gave her an acknowledging nod. Arashi looked at him. She sat down in the chair and looked at her friend.

"Subaru-san," she said. "The two of us should stick together. As former Seals, we have more in common with each other than with any of the Angels."

"Mm," was Subaru's reply. "What about your living arrangements? You can't be staying at CLAMP Academy still."

"No…I…" Arashi said. "I've been staying with Kigai-san for the last couple of days."

"Well, there's an extra bedroom in my apartment, if you want," Subaru said. "You're welcome to go stay there. I can't go home yet and I need someone to take care of Sei."

"Sei?" the Ise maiden asked.

"My cat," Subaru said. "She's probably panicked, herself."

"Oh, is that what you named your cat? Kamui mentioned that he had run into you when you bought a cat."

"Yes."

The door to the room opened and Kuniko came in. She saw Arashi and Subaru talking and waited by the door.

"Oh, Kuniko-san," Subaru said. "By any chance, do you have the key to my apartment?"

Kuniko blinked. "Yes, I do. I grabbed it as they getting you on the stretcher."

Subaru nodded towards Arashi. "Give it to her. She's going to be moving in with me and taking care of my cat while I'm stuck here."

Kuniko gave a soft nod and pulled a set of keys out of her purse. She handed them to Arashi, who took them with a quiet 'thank you.' The teenager stood up and bowed to Subaru.

"I'll be going then," she said. "/Kamui/ has already told me where your apartment is, so don't worry. Have a good day."

On her way past, Arashi gave a slight bow to Kuniko as well. The former Seal headed out of the room and left the hospital.

_**

* * *

Author's Note: **And I'm ending it here. This shouldn't have taken as long as it did to write. I had the entire chapter plotted out a long time ago, but the music video for "In the Shadows" is such a distraction! –sweatdrops- I kept pausing while I was typing to drool over Lauri and Aki. I mean, damn! If I could figure out which one is Pauli and which one was Eero, I'd be drooling over those guys too! Come on, I love the Rasmus! I can't help being distracted!_


	10. Utagai

_**Author's Note:** I have no idea how long it would be until Subaru would be released from the hospital, so I'm kinda going off not knowing and am pretty sure that I'm wrong here. Plus, I've add my own little twist to the Ten no Ryu's job. Ohohohoho!  
**Warnings:** Arashi undergoes a slight transformation. Mostly, she just borrows some clothes from Satsuki's room. Well, Satsuki isn't using them; I've kinda killed her. Though, I haven't killed Yuuto yet. You'll see.  
**Disclaimer:** -points at Liz- Back off, she's mine. –points at X cast- Back off, they're CLAMP's._

Part Ten: Utagai

It had been a little over a week since Subaru had allowed Arashi to move in with him. She was accompanying him back to the apartment when they ran into Subaru's neighbors, who had finally had just about enough with the earthquakes and were moving back to America. The American girl, Liz, recognized Subaru from the time she had met him at the tea house where she had worked and smiled at him, waving cheerfully. Her roommates, Koichi and Ame, were busy getting lockers and suitcases out of their apartment and downstairs, so the most they could manage was a polite smile and a "Kon'nichi wa."

Arashi pulled out the key she had gotten a copy of and unlocked the door to the apartment. As she did, there was a thump behind them and they heard one of the girls shout "Oh, holy fucking goddess of the bloody fucking desert!" Subaru, having learned English as a child for possible English-speaking clients, understood and turned to the girls to see what had happened. Arashi also turned and saw that the girl with the short dark blue hair had dropped one end of a locker on her foot.

Arashi opened the door and led Subaru inside. Almost immediately after she turned the light on, Sei came running up to her owner and nuzzled Subaru's legs affectionately. Subaru gave a soft smile and picked the small cat up. Sei purred happily in her owner's good arm and rested her head against his chest for a moment before crawling under his shirt. Arashi let out a soft giggle.

"So, she does that to you as well?" she asked.

"She's been doing this to me since I got her," the onmyouji replied. "Apparently, she does this when she likes someone."

Sei's head popped out of Subaru's neckline and she mewed, licking the man's chin. Arashi smiled and giggled again. Subaru pulled the cat out of his shirt and looked her straight in the eye.

"That tickled," he told the cat.

Sei just mewed happily in return.

* * *

"I've successfully hacked into the hospital records again," Nokoru said. "It seems that Sumeragi-san has been released into the care of his roommate." 

"Roommate?" Yuzuriha asked.

"It could only be another Dragon of Earth," Sorata said. "Yuzuriha, you did say that he had told you that he switched sides?"

"Uh, huh," the Mitsumine girl said. "At the tea house where me and Ku—Inuki found him."

_((Author's Note: I'm a little forgetful. I can't find my notes for this story and I don't have a copy of that chapter on Ryuuji. So, I don't remember the exact conversation between Subaru and Yuzu. Forgive me.))_

"With our luck, he's rooming with Fuuma," Kamui frowned, still extremely unhappy with Subaru from their visit to him.

"I wouldn't think so," Seiichirou said. "I just don't see Sumeragi-san living with the Other Kamui."

"Well, who of the Dragons of Earth have we met?" Sorata asked. He began counting them off. "There's the Other Kamui, of course. The blonde guy. That white-haired kid, Nataku. The Sakurazukamori. The girl with the glasses..." (Yuzuriha hugged Inuki close at this point) "…the yumemi…that six. We haven't met the seventh."

"Out of those six," Yuzuriha said. "Three have died." She raised three fingers and put them down as she counted off. "The Sakurazukamori, Nataku, and the girl."

"That would leave the blonde, the yumemi, and…whoever the last Angel is," Sorata said.

"Can we discuss something more important than Subaru's living arrangements?" Kamui asked, irritably.

"He's right," Seiichirou said. "We should be concentrating on the remaining kekkai."

"Yes," Nokoru said. He pointed to a point on the screen. "The Tokyo Tower is going to be the last to fall. That's where the Final Battle is going to take place."

Kamui made a mental note to skip the class trip to the tower next week.

"The Final Battle will probably be next month, at the end of December," the Imonoyama heir continued. "So, we shouldn't have to worry too much about the Dragons of Earth attacking it. But we'll keep an eye on it, just in case."

"Nokoru," Suoh interrupted, from another computer, where he had been doing a separate task. "I've found her."

"Where is she?"

"Who?" Yuzuriha asked.

"Kishuu-san," Suoh and Nokoru replied in unison.

Sorata ran up to Suoh. "Where is she?"

"I'm working on finding the exact apartment, but this is the complex," the ninja said, gesturing to the computer screen. "I have evidence on cameras that she's been in and out of the complex a lot lately."

"Where is the complex?" Sorata asked, determined to find Arashi.

"Across town, in Odaiba."

"How can I get there?" Sorata demanded.

"Incidentally," Nokoru said, "that's near where the next kekkai is. Unfortunately, I can't tell you when it will be attacked."

_((Author's Note: I don't think there's really a kekkai in Odaiba. I just pulled random place in Tokyo out of nowhere and used it.))_

"And with Hinoto gone," Yuzuriha said, sadly, "she can't tell us."

"That's why," Nokoru told the group, "that I have paid for an apartment for the three of you." He pointed to Sorata, Yuzuriha, and Kamui. "You'll stay there for a while to guard the kekkai against attacks. Our top priority is the kekkai, Arisugawa-kun. However, since Kishuu-san is important to us as well, you may look for her from time to time."

"Thank you, Nokoru-sama," Sorata said, a determined look still in his eye.

"We'll set you up in the new apartment right away," Nokoru said. "Unfortunately, the apartment is quite a bit away from the school, so, as reluctant as I am to do so, I give you three a leave of absence from school for the time being."

The three Seals nodded.

"I'll alert your teachers and let them know that you won't be in class for a while," Nokoru told them. Then he turned to Seiichirou. "I would like it if you would check on them from time to time. They may need your help at times. And if the Dragons of Earth attack, they'll need you for sure."

"Yes, of course," Seiichirou said. "I'll do my best to help them."

"Take care of yourselves," Nokoru told the group.

* * *

Three days passed as the Seals watched over the kekkai. At the same time, Sorata kept an eye out for any sign of Arashi. At times, he thought he saw the shrine maiden in crowds, but it always turned out to be someone else. He was getting desperate to find her, to ask her to return to him and the other Seals. God, how he wanted her to be back with him. 

One day, as Sorata was walking down the street to the local convenience store to get something to drink, he bumped into a teenaged girl. The girl stumbled backwards and lost her grip on one of the bags of groceries she carried. Sorata apologized to her and bent down to help pick up the fallen groceries. The girl, on the other hand, stood there, her heart beating like mad in her chest.

Sorata looked up and found himself staring at none other than Kishuu Arashi. Something was different about her. The shrine maiden wore tight black capri's and a matching tanktop. Her hair was tied back in a braid and her eyes were wide. Sorata nearly dropped the bag he had just picked up.

"A-Arashi…" he stammered. "I…"

Arashi quickly took the bag from Sorata's hand and headed off with a short thank you. Sorata blinked for a second, then turned to catch up with her. Arashi was swift, but Sorata was more so. He caught up with her and took a hold of her arm. Arashi struggled to get out of Sorata's grasp.

"Arashi, please!" Sorata begged.

"Let me go!" Arashi exclaimed.

"Come back, Arashi."

"I…I can't."

Sorata looked into Arashi's stormy gray eyes. The maiden of the Ise shrine looked away, biting her lower lip and willing her tears not to fall. The two of them stood there like that for a few moments, then Arashi broke away from Sorata.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, turning and walking away. "I can't see you anymore."

Sorata could only stand and watch as the girl he loved disappeared into the crowd. Arashi continued to walk back to the apartment she and Subaru shared, forcing herself to keep from crying. But when she finally arrived at the apartment and stepped inside, she leaned back onto the door and her tears fell in streams down her cheeks. Her sobs choked her as she stood there, wishing that she hadn't seen Sorata.

Footsteps sounded in the hall. Arashi heard Subaru ask what was wrong. She shook her head and continued to stand at the door. She managed to calm down and slipped her shoes off, heading into the kitchen to put the groceries away and start dinner. Subaru followed her.

"Are you okay, Arashi-san?" he asked.

"I…" Arashi replied, hesitating. "I ran into Sorata…"

"What happened between you two? You act like your heart's been torn in half."

"I ran away from him and the rest of the Seals after I lost the power of Ise," Arashi said. "I…love him, but…without the power of Ise…I'm completely worthless."

"So you came to Fuuma to offer yourself as an Angel," Subaru said.

"You did the same thing."

"Actually, it was the exact opposite. Fuuma came to me and offered this," Subaru said, gesturing to his golden right eye. "It was then that he said that I could take Seishirou-san's place as a Dragon of Earth. Seeing as there was no longer anything I desired to protect, I took up the offer."

"And this place…did he give it to you?"

"No. This…this was Seishirou-san's apartment."

Arashi nodded.

"I'll make dinner tonight, Arashi-san," Subaru said. "You can go have some time alone. I'll bet that you need it."

Again, Arashi nodded. "Thank you, Subaru-san."

With that, the girl headed into her room, closing the door behind her. Subaru went through the remaining groceries, putting things away and trying to figure out what to cook. Eventually, he settled on making some stew. He got out the slow cooker he found when he first moved into the apartment and went about making the stew. Once everything was in the slow cooker and starting to cook, Subaru went into the living room and lay on the couch with a book. Sei came over and jumped up to him. She curled up on her master's stomach and mewled softly. A faint smile appeared on Subaru's lips and he petted the cat with one hand, holding his book up in the other.

Sometimes, a cat was the best comfort.

* * *

Kamui and Yuzuriha were sitting in the living room of the apartment that Nokoru had gotten them. They had several pages of homework to do for when they returned to school. Sorata was in the kitchen, cooking dinner and moping. He hadn't said anything to the other two about Arashi, instead, keeping the encounter to himself. Arashi had looked really upset when she had seen him and Sorata wondered what it was that was keeping her from coming back. 

Sorata sighed as he chopped vegetables to put in the stir-fry he was making for dinner. Perhaps it was best for them to be apart, if being with him caused Arashi so much pain. There were just some things he didn't understand. Such as, why had Arashi left in the first place? He loved her and he knew that she loved him. So…why?

The smell of spices filled the kitchen as he continued to cook. He would figure out Arashi later. For now, he had to keep his attention turned to other things. It was hard, but he would have to forget about Arashi for a time, while taking care of the remaining kekkai.

Then it hit him. If Arashi had left the Seals, she must have joined the Angels. There wasn't much of a choice for her. She couldn't just go onto the sidelines; her face was recognized by all of the Angels as a target. And if Arashi had gone to the other side, chances are that she was the one living with Subaru.

_No. That can't be,_ Sorata thought. _She wouldn't join up with the Other Kamui. She's got things she wants to protect…Doesn't she?_

It was possible that the Ise maiden still had things to protect, but there was also a possibility that the desire to protect had vanished. If so, that perhaps Arashi had joined the Chi no Ryu. Sorata didn't want to think of it. He continued cooking and called Yuzuriha and Kamui in when it was ready.

* * *

Subaru had fallen asleep with the book on his chest and Sei on his stomach. His bangs had fallen over his eyes and if Seishirou had been there, he would have said that the former Sumeragi head looked enticing. But seeing that he wasn't there, it was for Fuuma to say. 

The Dark Kamui stood at the entryway to the living room, watching Subaru as he slept. He had a grin on his face. Thoughts of playing with the older man were dancing around his head and he was contemplating following his libido and do as he willed with Subaru.

However, something interrupted his thoughts. A movement in the corner of his eye caught Fuuma's attention and he turned to see Arashi come out of her bedroom. The maiden of the Ise shrine had her head hung and didn't see him until she got into the living room.

"/Kamui!" she exclaimed. "What…what are you…?"

"I have an assignment for you, Kishuu-san," the Dark Kamui said, his eyes glinting dangerously. "I want you to accompany Kigai-san in attacking the kekkai here in Odaiba."

"A-attack a kekkai?" Arashi repeated.

"That's right."

"B-but I…"

"You are no longer a Seal, Kishuu-san," Fuuma told her. "You are one of the Seven Angels, one of MY Angels. You will do what I say or our little agreement is considered null and void. Do you understand that?"

"I…" Arashi hesitated. One look into the Dark Kamui's eyes told her that she absolutely had no choice. "I understand."

"Very well. Kigai-san is waiting at the Odaiba station. You will meet him there and help him to destroy the kekkai."

"And if the Seals arrive?"

Fuuma smirked. "It depends on which Seal. If Kamui comes, leave him to me. Anyone else, you are to kill them immediately."

Arashi's eyes widened, but she knew she had to do as the other teen said. Otherwise, she would never be able to keep those she loved safe. She had promised herself as a servant to the Dark Kamui. As one of the Seven Angels, she was to do the exact opposite of her former duties as one of the Seven Seals. What she once protected with her life was now to be what she would destroy.

Fuuma handed the girl a new sword, as she could no longer call upon the sword of Ise. Arashi took the katana from the Dark Kamui's hands and held it close. Then, resigned, she walked over to the window of the apartment and crawled out of it, jumping into the twilight and towards the kekkai that she was to destroy.

The Dark Kamui watched until Arashi could no longer be seen. He turned to Subaru, who slept on, not knowing what was going on and completely oblivious to the presence of the Kamui of the Chi no Ryu. Approaching cautiously, Fuuma looked down at Subaru's calm face. His eyes traveled downwards, landing on the wrapping on Subaru's arm.

"So, you didn't after all," he said. "I would have thought that you would have gone through with it after all that I did."

Fuuma paused for a moment. "You're more of an idiot than I thought."

With those words said, the Dark Kamui left the apartment, heading down the stairs and towards the kekkai to watch.

* * *

The ground was beginning to tremble. Sorata, Yuzuriha, and Kamui all felt it. Kamui knew it was close and led the other two Seals to the Odaiba station, where the perpetrators were attacking the kekkai. They reached the station and Sorata put up his kekkai to protect what was left of the Odaiba station kekkai. It didn't take them too long to find the ones who were trying to destroy it, but it took a while for it to register _who_ it was. 

Guarding the other Angel, with sword in hand, stood none other than Kishuu Arashi.

"A-Arashi!" Yuzuriha gasped. "W-what are you…?"

"What does it look like?" Arashi asked, coldly.

"But…you…you can't be…!" the Mitsumine girl replied.

"Something the matter, Arashi-chan?" the other Angel asked, coming over after pausing in his work.

"We have visitors, Yuuto-san."

"Oh, already?" Yuuto smiled. "I was just getting started, too."

With that, the two Angels attacked the surprised and unprepared Seals. Yuzuriha let out a short scream as Yuuto threw his bladed whip towards her. She ran out of the way, with Inuki at her side. In the corner of her eye, she saw Arashi attack Sorata.

"Arashi…! No!" Yuzuriha screamed.

But Arashi's sword had struck already. Crudely, yet not deeply, the blade cut into Sorata's side. Arashi froze and her eyes drifted down as Sorata fell. Yuzuriha let out another scream and Kamui ran over to Sorata.

"Arashi…" Sorata whispered.

Arashi's eyes were wide with fear and regret. The katana that the Dark Kamui had given to her fell from her hands and her eyes filled with tears. The tears fell down her face in rapid succession as she watched Sorata's eyes close. Around her, she could feel the kekkai dissipating.

"Oh, my god…" she said, her voice threatening to crack into sobs. "I…Sorata, please! I'm sorry…!"

The Ise maiden fell to her knees, covering her eyes. Kamui watched her for a second, wondering if he should be mad or sorry. He really felt neither. He just wanted to get Sorata out of there and to a hospital as soon as possible. Yet, he didn't want to leave.

"Kamui!" a familiar voice called.

Kamui whipped around and saw Seiichirou running up.

"Get him to the hospital, now!" the Asuka editor told him. "I'll handle things here!"

Kamui and Yuzuriha nodded and leaped away, carrying the wounded Sorata between them. Arashi watched them go, but made no move to leave. Once Kamui and Yuzuriha had gotten Sorata far enough away, Seiichirou set up his own kekkai and began battle with Yuuto.

* * *

Subaru woke up to Arashi sobbing in the kitchen an hour later. He got up and went over to the kitchen to check on her. The girl was standing, leaning over the sink, her tears falling into the soapy water that already filled the sink. Subaru approached her cautiously, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

"I…I couldn't do it…" Arashi cried, softly. "/Kamui/ will be mad…"

"What happened?" Subaru asked.

"/Kamui/ told me to help destroy the kekkai…but Sorata and the others…they came and I…I think Sorata…I think I may have killed him…"

Subaru blinked. "Sorata's wounded?"

"I didn't want to hurt him," Arashi sobbed. "I…"

"Shhh," Subaru said. "It's okay. I'm sure he's fine. If you didn't want to hurt him, chances are that you didn't cause too much damage."

"God, I hope he'll be okay…" the Ise maiden sniffed.

_

* * *

Author's Note: I just ran out of ideas for this chapter. So…sorry? Y'all wanted an update, so here it is. Just don't yell at me for the cliffhanger. I've been having a rough week. Fucking college._


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